Fatshaming and Kids: Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up... - FML

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 311

You deserved it 11 431

Fatshaming Kids

Own it

Midlife crisis

Catflap time

By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 14:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 051

You deserved it 2 137

By ivegotapackage - 05/01/2015 23:47 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 686

You deserved it 2 061

By can't win - 13/01/2015 16:25 - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 406

You deserved it 3 431

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 20:00

Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 380

You deserved it 799

By arrogantlondon - 16/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my friend. The store was having a special where if you spend over $75 you receive a free T-shirt. I paid for my items and my total was over $75. The salesman didn't hand me a shirt so I asked him for one. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry, we only have Mediums." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 327

You deserved it 7 383

By Sickie. - 02/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 263

You deserved it 59 848

By staringisrude - 27/08/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 267

You deserved it 64 557

By hornyloser770 - 01/03/2010 02:15 - France

Spicy

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 243

You deserved it 10 950

By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 915

You deserved it 2 313

Selfish

By Anonymous - 31/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 492

You deserved it 420

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 591

You deserved it 2 407

By thenewgirl29 - 05/02/2015 16:42 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 4 202

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 301

You deserved it 3 113

By onlyme123 - 27/06/2018 15:00

Today, I got a phone call. I thought it was just one of these toll free numbers that were always calling so when I answered the phone, I said, “City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?” It was my college calling to discuss my grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 3 664

By SterlingSilver91 - 03/09/2011 23:49 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 089

You deserved it 42 593

By ThisGuy775 - 19/09/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 2 966

By Arcam89 - 22/02/2016 22:37 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 542

You deserved it 1 347

By rubber_duckie177 - 24/09/2009 11:25 - United States

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 941

You deserved it 4 003

By Michelle - 04/08/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 930

You deserved it 6 454

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 045

You deserved it 3 171

By whovian - 25/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Gorham

Spicy

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 394

You deserved it 4 590

By pain - 26/02/2010 10:23 - Japan

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 356

You deserved it 3 265

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 657

You deserved it 10 900

By Noname - 19/02/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 8 823

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 29/06/2020 05:05

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 275

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - 16/04/2013 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 549

You deserved it 47 483

By Anonymous - 27/09/2016 21:29 - United States - Fairfield

Today, two months into my new marketing job, I presented my first webinar live to over 300 people. Half the audience complained about the horrible sound quality, saying all they could hear was a Mickey Mouse squeaky sound. Turns out it wasn't the sound quality, it was my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 330

You deserved it 995

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 298

You deserved it 25 383

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 3 172

It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 59

By mademoiselle meurtre - 13/04/2015 02:51 - United States - Belleville

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 2 832

By lk07 - 12/07/2019 16:00

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 213

By burned_away - 19/08/2009 18:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 674

You deserved it 4 782

Should've stayed home, basically

By SoftwareDev - 27/06/2017 02:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after getting booked off work for being sick, I go to work anyway. On the way home, I stop by a colleagues fairwell, being the paranoid type of guy I make sure my car is locked about 3-4 times and head in. Later I get home to find my laptop has been stolen from my boot with my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 285

You deserved it 602

Frozen

By Scarred for life - 13/03/2020 08:00

Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 128

By OiVey - 01/11/2017 18:30 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, I found out that I've been taking the wrong math class all semester. We're only a few weeks from finals and I have no drops left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 244

You deserved it 1 529

Sorry

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 18:06 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 704

You deserved it 5 061

Dad jokes FTW!

By rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 216

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 291

You deserved it 67 402

It's close enough

By Jaymail - 17/08/2020 08:01

Today, after many hours studying a complete course of Spanish, I felt really good. I had accomplished something, something I could really use next week when I fly to Mexico on vacation. Then I found out what I had learned was Spanish as they speak it in Spain, not how they speak it in Latin America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 1 037

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:13

Your kid is setting attainable, realistic goals. Very good for a 7-year-old!

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:02

So. Your kid likes your hugs. And sees you as a rolemodel. That is not an FML, unless you never before realized you're fat, in wich case you're probably not too smart.

Comments

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:02

So. Your kid likes your hugs. And sees you as a rolemodel. That is not an FML, unless you never before realized you're fat, in wich case you're probably not too smart.

wolfpackchick10 0

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:50

If you are bigger, maybe take this comment as a sign that it may be time to lose the weight. Since she does look up to you as a role model, she might consider being heavier the good thing to do...which is unhealthy. This was discussed this past season on The Biggest Loser and this man's daughter wanting to have a big belly like her daddy was what inspired him to lose the weight. He ended up winning...so it looks like it all panned out!

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Friday 1 January 2010 4:04

ydi, your kid should look up to you as a good sandwich maker

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:13

Your kid is setting attainable, realistic goals. Very good for a 7-year-old!

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Thursday 31 December 2009 19:22

Hahaha i really loved your comment buddy

Secret_Fire_King 0

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Saturday 16 January 2010 5:40

hahahahahahaha... He's not gunna get fat in a household where Mum eats all the food.. Trust me.. She'll have him/her running around, doing chores, answering the phone..... etc.

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:16

I'm sorry your kid wants to be fat. Also, atleast she wasn't making fun of you?

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Wednesday 7 July 2010 10:35

Exactly what I was thinking.

xknightlightx 2

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Monday 3 December 2012 13:30

I suppose it shows that beauty can be seen even From fat people... ? Maybe she wasnt too fat... Just chubby? O.o?

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:17

At least your kid isn't making fun of you and if you are fat you can always work out to lose some extra pounds.

itsgen 16

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:28

Well at least you know your kid loves you :] and thats what matters

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Thursday 11 November 2010 20:07

I so agree it could have been that she said "I don't want to be fat lime you"

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:30

Over the holidays, my little cousin declared "I want to be big and fat just like my grandma!" OP, I'm really sorry that you are so insecure that you can't laugh at a child's mishap.

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Thursday 31 December 2009 12:47

Dude like, so what? You're a role model to her, rather than her seeing an anorexic chick as a role model... But if you are fat, you should shed those few pounds...

asiancreampuff 0

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Thursday 31 December 2009 20:56

Not every skinny person is anorexic. Don't be jealous.

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Friday 1 January 2010 16:13

Also, it's possible to be neither skinny nor fat.

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Thursday 31 December 2009 13:33

YDI because I'm a fucking moron.

signuploginpassw 0

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Wednesday 13 October 2010 4:13

it IS possible to be fat and not have health problems.. like if OP is just a little over weight but not so obese she can't walk, her kid will still say fat, but her health could be fine.

sweetbiotch88 0

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Thursday 31 December 2009 13:49

so do something about it and lose the flab cab

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Thursday 31 December 2009 13:57

what do you think chanches are that your 7-year old won't change his/hers oppinion as she/he grows up. The only FML is that your child cald you fat, but don't you think you knew it allready? now you have a great motivation to loose weight!

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 4

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 8

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 143