Kids: Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten...

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 9 428

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 39 985

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 607

You deserved it 8 703

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 714

You deserved it 3 602

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 037

You deserved it 241

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 755

You deserved it 3 103

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 132

You deserved it 3 185

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 71 831

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 495

Teach what you know

By E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 118

You deserved it 13 068

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:09

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

supbabes 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:11

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

Comments

om102907 4

Friday 22 June 2012 0:10

Really. Really. really, really, really. What fund do I need to give to so we can help your child?

tippy_pink89 2

Friday 22 June 2012 0:22

It may not be abuse. Tons of kids have sex-play at a young age. They just know it feels good, and they know that "mommy and daddy" or "grownups" do it. They really have no idea what they are doing. OP, you just need to sit down and have a talk with her.

doodlecloud 26

Friday 22 June 2012 11:55

And how do they know that what feels good to them is 'sex play' that 'mummy and daddy do'? Abuse isn't just being raped by a paedophile you know.

zaac15 2

Friday 22 June 2012 0:34

She must have a bright future ahead of her

ma1_eatley 2

Friday 22 June 2012 0:40

I wonder where she's getting that from mom...

ktizzley2k 8

Friday 22 June 2012 1:23

You're daughter may become a *****. Stop it while you still can.

AzzieC 12

Friday 22 June 2012 2:02

Yeah ur raising ur daughter "really well"

Sairagna 2

Friday 22 June 2012 2:49

Only in California

ebfbruh 0

Friday 22 June 2012 2:54

Can't blame her... That was my favorite game too in kindergarten.

SoultheWolf 19

Friday 22 June 2012 3:45

You, or someone in your family, is oviously not being "private" about their sessions. If it's you then you completely deserve this! Learn to be a god damn parent! If it isn't you, and you have an older son (but I hightly doubt if if she's in kindergarnten) then find out who and get them to stop. Have a talk with your daughter and let her know that only "mommies and daddies" do those kind of things, and she isn't allowed to until she is much, much older.

StephLovesYouuxo 1

Friday 22 June 2012 4:35

If she's doing that this young, then be prepared for like a 13-year old pregnant daughter

Dracoboxer357 35

Friday 22 June 2012 4:51

163- I just wanted to say, you have the most uplifting profile I've ever read here on FML. You must have one amazing view on life, and for that, I think I envy you a bit. :) Cheers.