By Anonymous - 02/10/2012 19:39 - United States - Richland

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 709
You deserved it 2 954

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Psych101 9

"I fell on it?"



wellfuuucckme 7


This is something I'd expect doc to have to have dealt with.

mariah_1_11 22

Finders keepers?

unknown_user5566 26

1- Woah, man. That was deep.

NzaHaFML 13

Moments when "shove it up your ass" is taken literally.

Kn0wledge123 21

I'm still wondering how the hell they managed to do that...

67, lube, lots of lube..

109, Talking from experience or just "common" sense?

From experience

Must have been a pain in the phone to get that out..... I'm not good at puns..

#121 How did you know he was speaking from experience? Were you there to witness it?

121 knows it is from experience because he came to me and asked me to please insert his new iPhone 5 into his rectum, and it took 3 bottles of lube.

57- in the patient's rectum.

I wonder if this FML was written in that iphone....?

Good thing Apple has those patented rounded corners...

peanutfoo 19

how does that work?!

MrBrightside21 20

I bet Syri was pissed. Don't get Syri mad. She'll drive you into a pond.

The1CalledGOAT 11

141- a pain in the app

What was the patient's excuse? They were following direction on the new maps app and ended up in the ass hole?!

p3mguin 7


ruabadfishtoo 0


gabbybmo 5

lol, win

And Buzz Killington makes an undercover cameo under the guise of #150!

226, you know Siri liked it.

mduffy08 8

I could on imagine what would happen if he butt-hole dialed someone...

Hope he had APP+...

Did DocBastard post this FML?

perdix 29

Whoa, indeed! I'll bet they haven't made the Goatse case for the iPhone 5 yet, so the patient improvised.

You spelt Siri incorrectly... Twice.

The patient was just trying to find the best wifi

317-I already said something mentioning doc...please don't be so redundant.

senor_awesome 14

366-its alright. no reason to get butt hurt

Ummm how was I butt hurt? I said politely to not be redundant. I didn't call them any childish names, or actually get mad, it was just a redundant comment to what I said. I doubt they noticed my comment mentioning doc. I was just saying

klrindal 2

Yea buddy

The iphone 5 must have one hell of a vibration.

381- You missed the joke, here.

What joke? Being told not to get butt hurt over something I admittedly just left alone? I'm not seeing how it was funny in any way...

Just like your display picture.

Lol. Now THAT'S cellphone service!

Lol. There's a ass for that.

DarkHelmet 10

So many questions to ask on this post I don't even know where to start...

Doesn't matter, still an iPhone.

scottish_elf 0

My dad once told us about a patient of his who had a ***** broken off in his ass... The patient claimed his wife did it while he was asleep. Lol. Sure....

bossman47 0


I wonder if the patient was looking for a wifi hotspot....

I wonder If the vibrate was turned on

Damn! What an asshole!

91. Lmao! You would be happy to have a cellphone from someone's ass! In my 33 years of life,you have managed to be the most greedy, shameless person I have ever heard of!

My friend told me once that he had a patient who had a "buzz-lighter" wedged up his arse. To infinity and beyond alright......

Does it at least work?

Who cares? No way in hell I'd ever use an iPhone that's been up someone's ass.

PushMyButtons 5

"Hey, you got the new iPhone 5!" "Yeah, I got it out of my patients ass."

feldco1 17

No, I heard it works pretty shitty. I tried.

Nope- recent calls- kept it on vibrate and kept calling. When it stopped vibrating he took himself in.

Inheritance 10

What guy in there right mind would shove an iPhone 5 up their ass? I mean if you hate Steve jobs don't be an ass about it.

ninjawatcher 2

Who said it was a guy?

I wonder if this voids the warranty...

If it didn't work, the next question becomes: does the warranty cover this?

jacquesromualdez 12

Yeah could've been worse though. A Galaxy SIII or an iPad.

You could always spray it with febreez and sell it on eBay as slightly *USED*

wellfuuucckme 7

Is the iPhone 5 really that attractive ?

I guess they were doing it gangnam style..

unknown_user5566 26

Siri is pretty sexy, man...

#70 Siri would be sexy if, she looked like The Big Bang Theory episode.

Misskayfoyer 14

#112- OMG I love you for that comment :)

#4 - Just wondering... Do you put everything that you find attractive up your anus?

56, you're not even doing it right.

I heard the maps sucked but not that bad.

No app for that one...

Autoshot 9

43 I guess there is - iAnal.

That app is only available on the new iPooed

I would ask what happened, but actually, I DON'T want to know.

206- If you didn't want to know, why did you make that comment?

5 - That is the first thing I said when I read this FML.

iCherryPanda 12

Oh no, WHY?! ):

BeforeItWasCool 12

Maybe because they shoved it up their ass? And, maybe, just use a little logic here, OP is a doctor of some kind, making it OP's job. That'd most likely be why.

lacespace 8

Because he wanted to Instagram his asshole.

gabbybmo 5

I think she meant why would anybody put a phone in their asshole

CallMeMcFeelii 13

264- She wasn't thumbed down because of the comment, it was all from the :( face. :( + Internet = lots of >: | people. Know what I mean or are you O.o?

gabbybmo 5

lol I know what ya mean

That has to be a wide ass-hole.

It's smaller then the last one so it will fit.

Well, it's not so much whether it's a wide ass hole. Rather - was it bleached?

saffy66 34

If it wasn't before, it is now!

Misskayfoyer 14

#184 - I wish I could thumb that up more than once xD

thefatman38 4

That's money right there #184!!! Bonus round

Did what die???

Ferretface 13


iiDangerCloseBK 6


peachyFML 17

... But they lived!

SenselessPattern 12

Now let's put it all together! Did it die? Yes. Yes, it did. But it still lived! Well, that didn't help anything.

Psych101 9

"I fell on it?"

I once saw a girl who said she'd been jumping on her bed and fell on an aerosol can... saying that an aerosol can is much easier to get up a rectum that a phone :/ bizarre behaviour!

Maybe when the patient feels better he/she will post about it in a new FML and all of our questions will be answered.

Uh she's lying!

One in a million doc one in a million!!!!!!

ArielTheMermaid 17

There's no app for that

priceyfml 7

That's just odd