By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 965
You deserved it 3 587

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I get calls from assholes all the time, though...(I work in retail)

Hey, he was just trying to make contact with Uranus. Or Hisanus, rather.

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Hey, he was just trying to make contact with Uranus. Or Hisanus, rather.

I bet it was a Galaxy s4

Lets just pray it wasn't the new Note III

What in the actual...

iammeorami 25

you mean the waterproof s4 active. ..

iammeorami 25

Or the galaxy mega O_O

Yes it probably was an android. All they're good for are puns, it seems.

Woah, woah, #89. Stop alienating people.

Hopefully for him, it was a Juke (if you guys even remember that phone)

That little pack of gum looking thing #130?

I actually had that phone(: hahaha everyone was afraid of me because they thought it was a pocket knife lol #130

tjv3 10

Maybe he want to butt dial someone?

JoseIsAdork 31

OK, that's an awfully extreme butt dial but to each their own, hope he didn't get changed roaming for that call though ×_×

JoseIsAdork 31

wow, I haven't heard about jukes in forever. can you picture it had he done this with a Nokia... oh my god..

I get calls from assholes all the time, though...(I work in retail)

ThatFancyPenn 18

Gee I wish there was a button for that #88...

ApollosMyth 22

Gee, I wish there was a less generic comment for that.

91, please point me to this "that was funny" button. I don't know if it's just this droid app, but I can't find it. :-P

PrimeStarscream 30

I think I broke something when I laughed.

How does one get the bright idea to shove one up there?

He didn't have any pockets?

Maybe the vibrate mode was too tempting for him to resist?

He watched Jackass and saw a guy shove a car in a condom up his ass.He decided to take it as a challenge and chose that poor phone.

TheDrifter 23

Someone asked him if he'd drive better with that phone up his ass and he took it to heart?

It's a common way of smuggling phones into prison.

I think that man would be even more butt hurt if he heard your comment!

My question is more what he was planning to do woth it after he had stuck it up there. I mean, was he just going to pull it out again once satisfied and go about his daily usage of it, knowing it had been in his anus?

He didn't shove it up there! He fell on it, of course.

JohnForge 13

Perhaps he's not straight? Orrrr his girlfriend shoved a phone up his ass.. Perhaps this was a kinky mess up.

blcksocks 19

I hope it wasn't a HTC Titan ..

Ah, beat me to it!

klovemachine 24

I don't think Doc would post this anonymously. he would write about it in his blog

I also have never been to Switzerland. Or have I?

ALyte 15

You sly sucker.... So good at not slipping where you are from!

That vibrate mode...it's dangerous.

gabe222 25

Gotta live on the wild side for thrillfull pleasures though, right doc?

Doc, which is worse a vibrating phone or the coke bottle? At least the phone is more easily removed (depending on how far up the phone traveled).

GoodLookingGeese 10

Let's find it out on you 55 ;)

oh God no D:

DocBastard, is that you?

Love that he left the comment after you.

That mental image is so disturbing

........Why would you try to think of a mental image?

lolita88_fml 27

Sounds like a....shitty situation.....

Don't we ever learn?!

No, no we do not.

lolita88_fml 27

Nope xD WORTH IT.

Wow, either your profile it's lying, out you're the only person I know older than 15 that said XD.

thatdangmexican 18

He was probably butt-dialing.

Or bootycalling

I just hope he isn't talking tongue-in-cheek.