Anonymous
Richland, United States
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bern, Switzerland
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Pottymouth
United States
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
phoneless
Jordan
Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML
breakinphones
United States
Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
yosmurf
Smooth.
Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML
Kris
United States
Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML
Anonymous
India
Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML
ryanharp2
Conway, United States
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
Paige
United States
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
thesadone
United States
Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML
Top comments
Psych101 9
"I fell on it?"
LlamaUprising 10
Classy.
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Comments (419)
RochelleRedvines 8
Poor Siri.
greenie213 23
OP: *fart* Siri: Sorry, I missed that.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Patient: Oh god, call me a ambulance! Siri: Ok, Ambulance. Please get me out of your ass.
Lunaa94 6
I thought nothing could surprise me anymore after DocBastard's silly patient stories. Guess I was wrong. Just how did he manage to get the phone up there?
priceyfml 7
-hey Siri bet you I can fit this iPhone in my ass? • bet you can't CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
cash_monkey72 9
That's taking butt dialing to an extreme.
Bekah7495 3
It probably shrunk back down a few inches. iPhone 4 again. No big deal.
imaginger1 4
Ouch. Did you keep it?
sleepinginclass 8
I'm not sure I would want to put that next to my face..
imaginger1 4
Still. An IPhone 5 is an IPhone 5.
DocBastard 40
Sadly, this beats my best rectal foreign object story. I'll have to go trolling the ERs for more. You will not best me, sir!
JGiraffe 4
Doc no one can beat your stories
twinkiefeets 17
Your pathetic
twinkiefeets 17
#66
hermitknut 22
His pathetic what?
2ophiia 22
I was actually really surprised to see that this FML wasn't posted by you, Doc.
neurodoc 1
FML is very popular among med students. One of my med students introduced me to this when I was a resident
SquishFish 15
What's your best Doc?
laden_swallow09 35
135- Your ENGLISH is pathetic.
zephyrnok 9
I wonder if there were any scratches on the sides after.
Enslaved 38
Wrong directions using Apple Maps?
ccoverup 5
Hahaha hilarious
unknown_user5566 27
Those map systems really ARE bad, aren't they? ;)
lflickin 6
Is there an app for that?
YouDeservedIt12 2
Yea there's an app for that, but I hear its pretty shitty