Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided...

By ;_; - Canada - Burlington

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37814

You deserved it

4322

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Parenting in 2021

Give it your best shot

Fairytale ending

By charliemann_ - United States

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31592

You deserved it

2746

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/7/2020 23:01

Classic

Today, I caught my sister in bed with my girlfriend. I’m not sure what’s worse, the cheating, the fact I’ve never managed to make my girlfriend moan like that, or the fact this is the second girlfriend she’s stolen from me in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2459

You deserved it

301

Favorite

By bigcityfail - United States

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43716

You deserved it

3282

Favorite

By wtf - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53679

You deserved it

3400

Favorite

By i tried so hard - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried really hard for once on an assignment. I was told it was my worst work yet and that I may as well have turned nothing in at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21740

You deserved it

2208

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/7/2020 20:02

Wrap it

Today, my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for a year, decided to tell me that he has herpes and has not taken any precautions to stop it from passing on. We have had unprotected sex quite a lot over the last year, so now I most likely have herpes too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2098

You deserved it

467

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49299

You deserved it

10261

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32439

You deserved it

2008

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/3/2021 11:01

It's called being a wage slave

Today, my new boyfriend told me he has no interest in being a dad, never has, never will, so the first time I ask him for any sort of help with my son he’s out the door. I'd dump his ass, but my mum just died so I have nowhere to go, and literally cannot afford both rent and food without his wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

980

You deserved it

560

Favorite

By FabFor87 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6617

You deserved it

508

Favorite

By Petergibbons - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24900

You deserved it

2805

Favorite

By mrosewrosem

Today, I woke up with a swollen face and have been diagnosed with mumps. Despite having been vaccinated against it. Twice. I have three assignments due next week and I can barely stay awake long enough to type this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2585

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By raz - United States - Fargo

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27429

You deserved it

2619

Favorite

By MoncaBang - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33587

You deserved it

3409

Favorite

By failure as a parent - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54323

You deserved it

6267

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 00:30

Not a biology major

Today, after we had sex for the first time, my boyfriend shouted, “Huzzah! My genes will live on!” We used a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

856

You deserved it

182

Favorite

By Scarred

Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2997

You deserved it

290

Favorite

By Fefrank

I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. Today I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1544

You deserved it

933

Favorite

By RuasaLove - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30306

You deserved it

8845

Favorite

By Cupcakes - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27540

You deserved it

53337

Favorite

By never thought I'd say that - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39630

You deserved it

2822

Favorite

By Yeahyeahyeah - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, while at a family gathering, my teenage sister-in-law felt the need to loudly point out, several times, that her selfie got more 'likes' than my pregnancy announcement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9685

You deserved it

821

Favorite

By Lukey1028 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26256

You deserved it

3413

Favorite

By vegantreegirl

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2412

You deserved it

303

Favorite

By Hesjustapuppy - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11574

You deserved it

1042

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11742

You deserved it

806

Favorite

By Lexi - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8188

You deserved it

36147

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/2/2021 02:00

Not having a good time, really

Today, I not only woke up with yet another splitting headache, but I stubbed my toe and my desktop kept crashing. That wouldn't be too terrible if it wasn't the second day in a row of bad luck, which previously involved someone stealing my card info and buying gamer keys with it the day after I got paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

717

You deserved it

Favorite

By nude - United States

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8025

You deserved it

32145

Favorite

By anne - Germany

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37193

You deserved it

4740

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29352

You deserved it

2782

Favorite

By Dino

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3737

You deserved it

163

Favorite

By kiwi - United States

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35570

You deserved it

11455

Favorite

By yikes :/

Today, the cute coworker who's been flirting with me drove me home. While I was contemplating asking him to kiss me, he politely told me to, "Please get out, I promised my girlfriend I'd pick her up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3985

You deserved it

1002

Favorite

By yessssir - United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25774

You deserved it

4922

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13467

You deserved it

41087

Favorite

By dangyo - United States

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23321

You deserved it

7046

Favorite

By melonhead - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34783

You deserved it

3710

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Ashland

Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10102

You deserved it

3772

Favorite

By monogamous - Australia

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61291

You deserved it

4769

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jayceejaco | 15

#5798355 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:03

You must have a face only a mother.... Never mind.

By HJKM_fml | 19

#5798354 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:03

Maybe she was just joking. Still I would talk to her and let her know those kind of comments bother you.

COMMENTS

By HJKM_fml | 19

#5798354 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:03

Maybe she was just joking. Still I would talk to her and let her know those kind of comments bother you.

By jayceejaco | 15

#5798355 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:03

You must have a face only a mother.... Never mind.

By nnnope | 26

#5798356 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:03

learn to take a joke, OP. :|

olpally | 32

#5798579 - Friday 20 December 2013 5:11

If it was a joke, this wouldn't be on FML... -__-

breakinlegs | 19

#5798590 - Friday 20 December 2013 5:29

its caricature, who cares..

hashshim | 21

#5799357 - Friday 20 December 2013 20:49

#34: it's "It's"

By renaee | 13

#5798358 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:04

Caricatures are always highly exaggerated. Don't take it too personally. :)

RawrImaDragon | 18

#5798399 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:22

"Highly exaggerated"? I'd say horribly ugly..

By adrianh1090 | 12

#5798367 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:06

She was probably joking?

By Kateyez_26 | 13

#5798368 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:06

Let her know you're a product of her ;)

Welshite | 39

#5798371 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:08

Agreed. I got my "Product of JoAnn" stamped on my rump at birth. My mother even got me patented.

MrSassypants | 32

#5798378 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:10

I was born with a Made in China sticker on my head and a barcode sticker on my ass.

Welshite | 39

#5798380 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:11

So you flash the girls whenever they check you out?

Kibaruto | 33

#5798396 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:19

Ever heard of a 'self-checkout'?

By Wizzlbang | 10

#5798382 - Friday 20 December 2013 2:14

Caricatures always look "just like" the person they're drawn as because they take any notable features about the person and exaggerate the bahoozits out of them.

You see it a lot in political cartoons.