By screwed - 10/02/2013 10:41 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 559
You deserved it 4 286

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Damn, that is some bad luck. But can't you train yourself to pass obstacles like this?


Damn, that is some bad luck. But can't you train yourself to pass obstacles like this?

Whaaaaaat734 6

Couldn't you just take some training or pills, OP?

Whaaaaaat734 6

I meant to comment not reply, apologies.

My favorite is Imodium and if it isn't that bad the occasional Pepto... I should probably see a doctor.~___~

Trix_Disorder 20

OP seems to have no problems "passing obstacles." Teehee.

dontpanic_fml 32

Yeah, let me know how that works for your diarrhea

astralvagan 20

Try becoming an honest private eye, if such a thing even exists.

Shrouds 14

You can't quit, your good at it! Just wear a diaper.

Shrouds 14

And you can probably deduct the diapers as a business expense, with a letter from your doctor.

She was referring to your misuse of the word your, thus her saying "his" instead of "he's". I had to say something.

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when PI ***** comes for you? Bad boys...

Looks more like a shitty comment *Removes shades*

If it's your job, you should find a way to relax. Kinda stinks, but a job's a job now a days. Don't really get how OP deserves it though. Not like he's intentionally ******** himself.

I think OP's getting YDIs for their choice of profession, or because their body's response implies that they're not good at their profession.

Idk about you, but I don't shit because I'm bad at my job.

laya_fml 26

Oh no, is that not normal? I should probably get checked out.

For anyone wondering about my comment, 9 originally asked why OP was getting "YDI," before they changed their comment.

My comment still states that Idk how OP deserves it.

Ah, I didn't see that when I looked at it again. I don't know why my comment got thumbed down though, since I'm answering your query. I didn't say that's why I clicked YDI (in fact I clicked FYL), I'm just playing devil's advocate. People find truly stupid reasons to click YDI.

People will put YDI just be assholes. There are tons of FMLs where people do that.

missababgaga 19

Oh goodness. Maybe invest in a personal toilet?... One that fits in your pocket, and can be taken out when you need it?.... Too far? Ok I'm done

He's not Inspector Gadget. He can't just say "go go gadget toilet" and poof there's a tiny little potty for him when he's got the *****!

missababgaga 19

62- I wasn't being serious when I made the comment. I've also concluded that the form of sarcasm used in my original comment was not widely accepted by the FML community. Lesson learned.

That wasn't sarcasm. Sarcastic comments have "sarcasm" written with little asterisks on both sides so everyone in FML world knows you were being sarcastic. That was just a bad comment.

challan 19

ABS is common OP. Yes, its truly shitty, but your doctor can help.

missababgaga 19

You mean IBS right? Unless this ABS stands for something in the medical field, and I just didn't know it yet?

What do anti-lock braking systems have to do with diarrhea? Or perhaps you meant IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)?

ABS is just the more severe version. Agonizing Butt Symptoms.

challan 19

Abnormal Bowel Secretions as I'm guessing he hadn't been diagnosed with IBS yet.