OP i know how you feel, it's so annoying. I had it a week ago at school! My teachers wouldn't believe i needed to use the bathroom every 10minutes. Sucks OP! Feel better soon :)

I call it, Evil ass.

Teachers or boss' don't seem to understand how severe a bad case of the poops can be. If its severe enough you can get dehydrated which makes you feel 10 times worse. And like throwing up its just better in the comfort of your own home.

Diaper*

Ah. Thanks. No wonder my phone kept trying to correct the word with dapper. It was 5:15am, so it didn't occur to me that I was spelling it wrong. Thanks for correcting me :)

Or you can say "cucumber" every time you feel like you have to sneeze! :P it actually kinda stops you from sneezing! Or you can wear the diapers... :)

OP- Try forcing your tongue against the roof of your mouth to prevent yourself from sneezing, works a lot of the time for me.

Just to let you know #2 it sucks having the *****. I've actually never shit myself but had to stay close to a bathroom for a awhile.

Field_hockey- Your empathy is simply overwhelming.

Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if we had empathy boxes.....

2- Next time save your breath and be like one of those assholes and hit YDI.

Omg this actually happened to me once...

That would suck

That's a results of a week bladder. That's when you start your kegels!

Or say 'Pineapple'. I've heard that stops the sneeze.

4- there is a slight flaw in your plan; while OP is rubbing their eyes, they will be unable to see, which might make locating the bathroom, a tad tricky.... :L

If you stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth you can delay or even stop a sneeze. Hope it helps!

28- or it might not even stop the sneeze and without your hand over your mouth you'll just sneeze into the open. Possibly into someone's face...

Plugging your nostrils ALWAYS works. When you can't inhale you don't have any air to sneeze with!

God Bless Poo

When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea diarrhea... When you're sliding into third and you lay a great big turn, diarrhea diarrhea... When you're sliding into home and you're pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea... Where did you learn that song, Son? Baseball camp, Dad. Ah. Well that was money well spent.

WTF??? That wasn't supposed to be a reply. Sorry for that accidental thread jacking, my friend.

You forgot the second verse! "When you're slidin' into two and you're trying not to poo, diarrhea. Diarrhea."

I'm not going to lie that shit was worth the down votes.. Hahaha

I thought you were supposed to put on the sunglasses. Example: "Well, sir, that's a *puts on sunglasses* shitty situation." YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

#16, let me give you a little coaching here. #42 has it right where the placement of the "*lowers sunglasses*" (my preferred version to describe the move), should be. What follows the move should be only one or two words. One word is better and a single-syllable word is best. I think the YEAH at the end is not necessary and doesn't add to the humor. Good luck out there!

Oh shit dropped the ball on that one guys.

the putting on sunglasses and YEEAAAHH is a csi Miami quote haha

Candle.pack of gum.apartement complex.shampoo.garbage truck.

are you guys ok?

12 is saying that if you have Netflix, you can just stay on the toilet because breaking bad is just so good. 31 did not understand 12's comment, but tried to go along with it and just stated random things that most certainly did not make any since.

****.sentences.Lists.and.fragments.2012.

not exactly... i understood what he was saying, i was mocking the format of his thoughts. I just thought the joke would be more obvious to people following the thread, because my line was much more ridiculous and made no sense, but I'm new to FML, so forgive my stupid comment.