Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
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By
intelliDude
| 7
Daiper time! Or just sit on the toilet all day and read FMLs.
By
Pandacupcakelove
| 26
I hope you're not the same person who pees every time she sneezes, that would really suck! Get well soon OP :/ FYL
COMMENTS
By
intelliDude
| 7
Daiper time! Or just sit on the toilet all day and read FMLs.
Reply
iNewKid
| 18
OP i know how you feel, it's so annoying. I had it a week ago at school! My teachers wouldn't believe i needed to use the bathroom every 10minutes.
Sucks OP! Feel better soon :)
Sucks OP! Feel better soon :)
Reply
GypsyRover
| 0
I call it, Evil ass.
Reply
chell1894
| 13
Teachers or boss' don't seem to understand how severe a bad case of the poops can be. If its severe enough you can get dehydrated which makes you feel 10 times worse. And like throwing up its just better in the comfort of your own home.
Reply
tabbycat2007
| 22
Diaper*
Reply
intelliDude
| 7
Ah. Thanks. No wonder my phone kept trying to correct the word with dapper. It was 5:15am, so it didn't occur to me that I was spelling it wrong. Thanks for correcting me :)
Reply
kewlone645
| 8
Or you can say "cucumber" every time you feel like you have to sneeze! :P it actually kinda stops you from sneezing! Or you can wear the diapers... :)
Reply
ArmadilloW
| 6
OP- Try forcing your tongue against the roof of your mouth to prevent yourself from sneezing, works a lot of the time for me.
By
Field_hockey
| 6
I can't sway I feel for you on this one op. that has never happened to me, but good luck with that.
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Just to let you know #2 it sucks having the shits. I've actually never shit myself but had to stay close to a bathroom for a awhile.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Field_hockey- Your empathy is simply overwhelming.
Reply
gc327072
| 29
Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if we had empathy boxes.....
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
2- Next time save your breath and be like one of those assholes and hit YDI.
Reply
CookieGirl4ever
| 13
Omg this actually happened to me once...
By
Pandacupcakelove
| 26
I hope you're not the same person who pees every time she sneezes, that would really suck! Get well soon OP :/ FYL
Reply
moonlight6654
| 6
That would suck
Reply
sincerelyjay
| 13
That's a results of a week bladder. That's when you start your kegels!
By
Betz
| 10
Sometimes rubbing my eyes stops or delays the sneeze. It might help you last long enough to run to the washroom.
Reply
neilykins
| 28
Or say 'Pineapple'. I've heard that stops the sneeze.
Reply
Demonfish
| 14
4- there is a slight flaw in your plan; while OP is rubbing their eyes, they will be unable to see, which might make locating the bathroom, a tad tricky.... :L
Reply
graffitied_love
| 20
If you stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth you can delay or even stop a sneeze. Hope it helps!
Reply
ee13lbp
| 4
28- or it might not even stop the sneeze and without your hand over your mouth you'll just sneeze into the open. Possibly into someone's face...
Reply
trivel64
| 16
Plugging your nostrils ALWAYS works. When you can't inhale you don't have any air to sneeze with!
By
loserboii
| 11
Looks like you'll be remaining on the toilet for quite some time.
By
klovemachine
| 24
Diarrhea diarrhea cha cha cha!!!
Reply
Autoshot
| 9
God Bless Poo
By
SighMaster3000
| 4
Press your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth to hold back the sneeze.
By
MrBond007_fml
| 6
Sneeze the shit out of it!
Reply
gracehi
| 31
When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea diarrhea... When you're sliding into third and you lay a great big turn, diarrhea diarrhea... When you're sliding into home and you're pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea...
Where did you learn that song, Son?
Baseball camp, Dad.
Ah. Well that was money well spent.
Where did you learn that song, Son?
Baseball camp, Dad.
Ah. Well that was money well spent.
Reply
gracehi
| 31
WTF??? That wasn't supposed to be a reply. Sorry for that accidental thread jacking, my friend.
Reply
laden_swallow09
| 34
You forgot the second verse!
"When you're slidin' into two and you're trying not to poo, diarrhea. Diarrhea."
"When you're slidin' into two and you're trying not to poo, diarrhea. Diarrhea."
By
ICastillo
| 24
Well Sir......*takes off sunglasses*...that is a shitty situation.
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
I'm not going to lie that shit was worth the down votes.. Hahaha
Reply
RandomComments
| 6
I thought you were supposed to put on the sunglasses.
Example: "Well, sir, that's a *puts on sunglasses* shitty situation."
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Example: "Well, sir, that's a *puts on sunglasses* shitty situation."
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Reply
perdix
| 29
#16, let me give you a little coaching here.
#42 has it right where the placement of the "*lowers sunglasses*" (my preferred version to describe the move), should be. What follows the move should be only one or two words. One word is better and a single-syllable word is best.
I think the YEAH at the end is not necessary and doesn't add to the humor. Good luck out there!
#42 has it right where the placement of the "*lowers sunglasses*" (my preferred version to describe the move), should be. What follows the move should be only one or two words. One word is better and a single-syllable word is best.
I think the YEAH at the end is not necessary and doesn't add to the humor. Good luck out there!
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Oh shit dropped the ball on that one guys.
Reply
vitty_z
| 16
the putting on sunglasses and YEEAAAHH is a csi Miami quote haha
By
Rodders_SOTC
| 1
Phone or Laptop.Netflix.Breaking Bad.Sorted.
Reply
WritingWrongs
| 8
Candle.pack of gum.apartement complex.shampoo.garbage truck.
Reply
paaronoid
| 4
are you guys ok?
Reply
heygirlie777
| 21
12 is saying that if you have Netflix, you can just stay on the toilet because breaking bad is just so good. 31 did not understand 12's comment, but tried to go along with it and just stated random things that most certainly did not make any since.
Reply
SenselessPattern
| 12
Fuck.sentences.Lists.and.fragments.2012.
Reply
WritingWrongs
| 8
not exactly... i understood what he was saying, i was mocking the format of his thoughts. I just thought the joke would be more obvious to people following the thread, because my line was much more ridiculous and made no sense, but I'm new to FML, so forgive my stupid comment.