Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
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Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
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Comments (150)
Shawme 6
Here's an idea...a hamper
Brandi_Faith 34
They can still sniff around the laundry bin pushing things aside till they find your undies! I know from experience; my dog's a pervert too! I have to bury my panties underneath everything else so he doesn't go for it. Luckily my puppy's only about a foot high so he can't just reach in easily; I can't imagine trying to hide them from a huge dog like a lab or retriever!
HomeAl0ne 20
No, they meant a picnic hamper. You know, a ham bone, a chew toy and a few dirty knickers.
NaoPudding 8
I love how the OP worded the FML. But, maybe next time you should keep the underwear where the dog can't get to it.
geko911 22
Nah he's not a designer he just likes things that stink.
perdix 31
If you thoroughly washed the skid marks out, your dog wouldn't chew the crotches out. Not all dogs do that -- just the ones with the shit-eating grins ;)
killak41 9
Giggity
annafii 7
...The wording of this is just...beautiful. Bravo :')
nerdsgetmehot 23
My thoughts exactly. I think I teared up.
unmistakablyamaz 4
My dog did the SAME thing to me!! It sucks.
HomeAl0ne 20
That's awesome! How do you get them to suck? Mine just licks.
CoitusNinja 2
Um. Dogs do that if your underwear isn't clean or your clothing is giving off a pungent smell. That's disgusting.
evilplatypus 39
My sister's dog does that to brand new panties. Every dog is different
dakotadk 5
My dog would do that to clean undies. If I forgot to put them in my dresser or left the drawer open he would still chew the clean ones.
JinxosGirl87 0
Better than the dog digging through the garbage to chew on used tampons. This is why I have cats.
Epikouros 32
I'm a panty-sniffing pervert and dogs still manage to gross me out. Yuck.
evilplatypus 39
They didn't say he was patenting them. Just designing new ones. Like Victoria's secret didnt invent bras, they just make different designs/types