Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
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Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
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Comments (150)
chubby_choco 17
FYL, but good job, tackling it with humor! :3 It sort of takes the sting out of it. As a side note, I'd suggest finding ways to keep your dog the hell away from your laundry.
koolkat27 13
Replace it with a cat. problem solved.
TheBinksOhhhh13 0
I loved the way you worded this !
gohogs518 4
You probably need to wash your crotch because dogs only chew up stinky panties... Gross
nabee26 15
Lol so true
Barriaultcory 16
They always chew the crotch!
IGaveRickUp 15
Oh haute coture! Have you made Tim Gunn check it out yet?
cwl727 33
they already make those.
worldclassrager 41
I like how that was phrased...
LyricaSilvan 30
This FML made me laugh out loud. Sorry to hear about your underwear, OP, but at least you managed to put a creative spin on the story.
maydayyparade 27
That could not have been written better, sorry about your underwear though, that has to suck