Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
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Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
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Comments (150)
King4aDay 0
ahaha I love the way you phrased that
iam_iu 0
My dog does the SAME thing!
iam_iu 0
My dog does the SAME thing!
yeti0718 8
Your dog is just trying to help you with you sex life. Maybe it overheard you talking about wanting to spice things up. Tah da!
obamathellama 0
Pick your shit up?
bellalady44 5
My dog does the same thing. :(
swendling12 2
how nasty is your twat?
syki 22
Bitchy Bloomers? Puppy Panties? Doggie Drawers? Just spit-balling here.
nikkigladmmnbs 0
My dog does the same exact thing! Omg matching underwear!
littleamsers 4
My dog does that too. He likes to make crotchless and buttless jeans also.