Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
laurenXD 1
Unfortunately, been there, done that. I've learned to never leaving underwear on the bathroom floor whilst showering.
KK3137 31
Honestly, PERFECT phrasing! I love it! Oh, and poor you
ieatunicorn4fun 7
Troll ^
mmwmeg1990 0
Ew
DocBastard 40
Is your dog a Shih-tsu?
LilDarkAngel9014 2
Omg my sister shih-tsu used to do that. I used to have to hide my panties and I'd get so mad when she did it to my nice ones.
mattorama 15
Clearly your boyfriend/girlfriend taught the dog that trick.
TraceCase_ 19
Each pair has a vintage chewed, well loved look and one-of-a-kind design!
kitcatprincess94 0
duh... dogs chew up underwear because of the way they smell. when they're washed they no longer have the owner's scent.
evilplatypus 39
My sister's dog does that to brand new underwear...
geon_olam 17
40- That's what you thought...
nabee26 15
OMG soooo funny but it's true.... I guess some people too dumb to realize that!! Hahahaha made me laugh!!
TipOfTheHat 10
How do they fit?
loserman67 36
So your dog likes the taste of fish. A few ideas for you, no disrespect intended.... 1. Douche (nuff said) 2. Washing Machine (delicate cycle of course) 3. Peanut butter (stop putting it you know where)
stephanieeDawnx 0
Here's an idea. Do some research or something. Douching is bad for women.
ShyAnn29 15
There is good bacteria in the ******, and douching gets rid of that, so it's not good, vaginas are like a self cleaning oven
tierasue0101 3
my dog does that to brand new underware that have never been worn