Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
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Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
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Comments (150)
hilarious9s 4
My dog does the exact same thing!!
Okayitwasme 0
Here is an easy answer, try wearing pantie liners everyday. Throw out the liners of course and there won't be an attraction, Dog will layoff the undies.
Epikouros 32
Sorry doglovers, "My dog does that too" doesn't add anything to the discussion at this point. We've established that dogs are filthy perverts. On the other hand, if your God does it too, that would be a comment worth reading.
wriptidez 0
some dogs also like feminine hygeine products so keep ur trash dumped
Sarahmarie1990 0
My boy friends dog does the exact same thing to my and my bf underwear but get a hamper it worked my bf bought me new underwear and now only he is dumb enough to leave his on the floor lol
toxiksedation 5
Mine does that too. Had to throw 3 of my favorites away yesterday (sometimes he thinks a crotchless one sided strap is more trendy) but I like your creative phrasing hah
toxiksedation 5
On another note to all the idiots that think it's "so easy" to solve the issue: clean or dirty doesn't mean anything, and my dog has been known to get into hampers. I should bring my dog to your house someday so maybe you'll shut up and get the chance to live fashionably crotchless too.
linda_stone 13
my god, you think you're so funny, don't you?
misssoccer 0
My dog does this all the time I put them in laundry baskets but it doesn't help that my parents knock them over I go through so much underwear and pajamas panta
CurlyQute 17
My dog does that too! It's nasty he he takes them out if my laundry.
tellithowitis 13
Well keep up the good work doesn't really work in this situation... But if your so concerned, get on a diet and loose some weight fatty:p