Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
diabetictaco 0
stop complaining. You should feel lucky that your child wants you to be a part of her life lol
ashrandom 0
sucks
tans_fml 0
I'm on the other side of the spectrum at 6'1, and I think it'd probably be nice to be a bit smaller as a woman... I guess no one's ever happy with their height haha
taelorrae011 0
at least she thinks it's cool and isn't embarrassed by you.
Mandarooo 7
She's 4 years old. I moderated this one. Haha. The original one said "my four year old daughter". I don't know why they took that part out. It cuts down on confusion. I wouldn't say she thinks it's cool. She's just too young to understand that it's rude to say things like that. Hahaha.
Hippie6 0
hahahahahahahaha. dude this made me laugh so hard. thats kind of shitty but hey atleast she thinks its cool and isnt all embarassed :p.
darkangel4700 0
omg omg omg i have a short friend I'm 5foot 7in and I consider her my pet midget lol she like 4 foot 8
WhyCantIDoRight 5
That...Is...******...Up...
Travis420 0
Ha ha. Tell your daughter its genetic and she will be a midget too
chilly012 3
life gave you the short straw.
missyj0 12
I don't see how this is a bad thing. I'm 5"6 (14 years young) and people are always mentioning how tall I am. I'd highly prefer being short, I find it much more feminine.