Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had to attend a wedding. Problem is, I suffer from a severe form of social anxiety. Since I was getting too close to a panic attack, he suggested drinking some wine to help me stay calm, and it worked. Up until I got drunk and threw up in the middle of the restaurant. FML
Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML
Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, saying somewhat annoyed, "Don't drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Caviar tastes bad to me too, but I’d never make such a public fuss! … Tastes are individual, some people like spicy, some people not; some people like ultra fishy and salty caviar just because it’s expensive, some don’t. But good manners in an important social situation are important no matter if you like something or not… When you try something you’ve never had before take a little bite until you know if you like it. Never make a scene and spit it out on the table!
Ubehage 32
I get that caviar isn't for everyone. But damn, you make it sound like those tiny eggs hatched and tried to kill you. YDI.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
You ate it? You are a common rube! You're supposed to stuff the caviar in your socks, and let them be ball bearings for your feet. Jeez, we can't take you anywhere!
Ubehage 32
I get that caviar isn't for everyone. But damn, you make it sound like those tiny eggs hatched and tried to kill you. YDI.
Chazzster 32
Caviar tastes bad to me too, but I’d never make such a public fuss! … Tastes are individual, some people like spicy, some people not; some people like ultra fishy and salty caviar just because it’s expensive, some don’t. But good manners in an important social situation are important no matter if you like something or not… When you try something you’ve never had before take a little bite until you know if you like it. Never make a scene and spit it out on the table!
historygrad74 19
You are an embarrassment.
rudico67 8
Well, you are.
D J's MOM 17
what are you like 5 years old? when you're at a 'polite company' event, you suck it up and use a napkin. water is fine, but you don't gag and spit out your food like you're a toddler at your parents dinner table.YTA! p.s. I happen to love caviar and not just because of the $$ like one person said. it's not like a snot covered turd worthy of causing a scene lol
lukey101 26
This made my laugh... a lot lol... I feel like if I were there we'd be instant besties **** the prudes!!
spinningrecords 14
Surely you watched the movie “Big”? You were forewarned.