Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
undumblonde 5
So am I :) I'm called elf, lil gibblet, tink, lil lady, shorty mcmuffin pants, and lil baby feet XD
smalltownboy54 0
I'm 6"1 and I'm 13
okieraider71 4
The perfect woman: 4'10" tall, a full a-cup bra size (or a small b-cup), small waist size snd a deep love for bondage.
xXMiniXx 0
You represent the lolipop guild!!! Lol dwai my mom is considered one too and I'm not much taller =P
3rdbass 9
This is all Eric Cartman's fault.
Oliver_Canterbry 10
Ah, I stopped growing at 4.10". Legal midget hight is anything below 4.11" (or so I've heard) and I'm only getting shorter. But, being short is pretty fun sometimes. XD
WildJubeJube 16
That kinda would've been an honour to me if ya think bout it.
zovjraar 6
I'm 4'11, which would be legally a dwarf if I was a guy. I feel ya, OP!
wrenavery90 12
So you didn't discover you were a midget until just now? How is that even possible.