Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
CommonSenseKarma 17
I'm 17. In case any of you really cared. What were we talking about again?
thevirusuhope4 0
you know your short whennnn...
deeeders 0
You can get money from the government if you are legally a 'midget'!
kat376 0
you can get money from the gov't then. so congrats.
Jessephine 0
truth hurtz..
kcnutt10 1
Sorry about my previous comment. I accidentally hit 'send'. But 62: We know you're 13! You've already mentioned it under 6's comment! Why do you repeat yourself so much? this is the second FML, that I've seen, that you've said the same thing twice.
1234USMC 0
man that's dope I lov short girls I wanna marry all of em
sk3l370n 0
ever mugged any1?
MRSladyFACE 0
My comments are all over the place here. I was replying to someone earlier in the thread and it messed it all up.
MRSladyFACE 0
And a name on here is nothing to take as a fact. I could make my name QueenofFrance if I wanted.