Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
autumn88_fml_fml 0
Hey OP don't feel too bad, there are plenty of short people in the world, I mean I'm only four inches taller than you lol.
Mauskau 36
You can tell you're 13 from your picture.
abush8 0
get that handicap sticker! better parking
dansco 25
Don't worry I'm sure you will grow taller when you're older! ;) Why not endulge your kid and go to school?
Decodedman 1
I notice a distinct lack of women chiming in with how cool they are with MEN being short too. Cuz women aren't shallow or anything. So i've been told. :/
besosforme 26
@82- We women do tend to be shallow (not all of us!), but fortunately many find short guys the perfect size! Shorter girls can reach them easier to plant a smooch, too =] I knew a guy that was 5'4 and let me tell you, I have been hard-pressed to find a more friendly, masculine, yet chivalrous gentleman. He was never wont for a girlfriend, either. He was single when he wanted but he definitely had options. It's all about the attitude, and the manner!
megatherium 4
Probably because this FML isn't about short men. If it were relevant, I might have previously brought up the fact that my boyfriend is barely taller than I am, and I'm under five feet. It works. I actually prefer short guys :)
hypn0 0
is your name snooki?
AznsGoesRawr 0
That's not really bad. Where I'm from, majority of the population is short or is shorter than me and I'm 4"8. My 6"0 boyfriend doesn't mind either(:
wehn92 10
its okay I'm 4'11 and my bf calls me a midget all the time lol fun sized all day :)
supahnazi 0
im short too.
blondebrunette11 4
haha, I'm 13 and I won't let my parents step foot in my school!! tehe