Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
sweeetcheeeks33 0
wow , im completly the opposite
sgenfkshe 5
haha I'm 13, and I'm decently close to my parents
sgenfkshe 5
haha im 5'5":) buttttttt I'm 13 so ithink that would be illegal...;):) lmao:)
cass85 8
I'm 5 foot and I honestly am very happy being short and have never had a problem with it and would feel really insecure if I were taller! However people do tend to think that, because I am small, its perfectly OK to, after only knowing me a couple of minutes, announce how cute I am and then PICK ME UP! I am NOT a toy!
besosforme 26
It's okay cass85, I'm just shy of 5' (4'11 &3/4") and it happens to me all the time. I just accept the fact that people will always think that us being short is adorable. We're fun-size!
islandcarrie 2
I'm 4 8. getting treated like a cute pet sure gets old, and i can't count how many times people have come up and said wow your short, stating the obvious much?
reneedel 4
Haha. I have nothing to add, OP, except we're the same height. Everyone at work is like "....MIDGET!"
AliSama 17
Be happy that you have a girl friend! *forever alone*
AliSama 17
i so misread that! rofl. *big hug* you arn't that short!
Carlie_McCartney 1
Well, to be a 'legal midget', she has to be a maximum of 4'9. So do with that what you will :) anyhow, I'm 5'3.5 (feet) and surprisingly, I'm taller than quite a few people in my year! = weird, isn't it?
fooch 0
wow a member of the munchkin guild is on fml? alright!
softballer22 0
did my mom post this..?
debbster7 18
hahaha I know how you feel!!! every day people come and call me midget just because I'm an inch under the legal definition. Don't worry OP, shorter is always better(;