Animals: Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very...

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 692

You deserved it 41 684

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Same thing different taste

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 831

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 773

You deserved it 3 584

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 336

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 994

You deserved it 31 758

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 280

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

Anger management issues, sir?

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 093

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 610

mike3775 35

Monday 7 March 2011 18:57

Be glad you have a caring girlfriend

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 18:58

I am embarrassed for your gf

Comments

mike3775 35

Monday 7 March 2011 18:57

Be glad you have a caring girlfriend

MichaelGood 0

Monday 7 March 2011 20:27

no kidding. I'm the same with spiders haha

Temi25 6

Monday 7 March 2011 21:10

centipedes are poisonous, and they can kill you

sammy92 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:34

centipedes and spiders r so cool! how can u be afraid of them? lol XD

ruby84 1

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:26

you're so hot!

sammy92 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 10:13

me or 35? lol

MichaelGood 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:08

obviously me ;) hahaha

krazygirl100 9

Friday 8 April 2011 17:04

centapeids are posinies

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 18:59

I'm sensing your a bit of a bitch

felipe87 2

Monday 7 March 2011 19:04

wanna feel how hard I can hit?

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:45

Centipedes are ******* scary. One day I was taking a tinkle on the toilet. And guess what I see? Oh, a centipede! Without putting on my undergarments and pants, I scurried out of the bathroom, hyperventilating. I feel your pain OP!

kittykat1497 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:45

I'll give u 45%

PincheLeti 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 8:32

#89 You sure that wasnt just your penis you saw :p haha

habeybaby25 11

Tuesday 8 March 2011 9:07

#100 that is a fuggen epic win to you!! xD

xXHIxxxHATERXx 2

Tuesday 8 March 2011 9:47

what a man-gina!!

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 4:51

Haha , nope. I'm a girl!

Dr_Jalepenos 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 11:02

no #3 that's just u

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 18:58

I am embarrassed for your gf

kingtz 6

Monday 7 March 2011 20:09

Yes. He should just give her his man card.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 7 March 2011 22:51

Does he even have that card?

d3no1993 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 9:20

she has nice eyes just sayin

number0 8

Tuesday 8 March 2011 10:31

nice scrubs reference

ReynshineCutting 10

Monday 7 March 2011 19:00

Am I the only one wondering if it was a centipede or a millipede? Gosh look what college has done to me!

justmyluck1212 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:56

lol yes! Subphylum Myriapoda

dannyboydx 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:37

considering the OP is in the US, I would guess it is a scutigeramorpha centipede. millipedes don't venture into houses, and scutigeramorpha thrive in basements.

Yaqui_fml 9

Monday 7 March 2011 19:00

lmao. OP sounds like my husband with spiders xD

lovexbox 8

Tuesday 8 March 2011 11:45

My boyfriend is the same way!

free2speak 14

Monday 7 March 2011 19:02

that's exactly how I react when I see a cockroach. and my boyfriend can't understand why I am deathly afraid of them. He hates waking up in the night to my loud screams from where I "felt" a cockroach crawling on me.

Grimmerie 31

Monday 7 March 2011 20:02

i feel your pain. i'm afraid of clowns.

docscientist 9

Monday 7 March 2011 22:19

I'm certain you can't understand why you're afraid of them.

john7h567hgrd 0

Monday 7 March 2011 22:39

Actually the physiology behind it is that some people naturally don't trust people, and clowns seem tooooo nice. So its usually the sceptical people that find clowns scary.

Animeninja117 2

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:57

#26 freaking AWESOME turtle XD

Animeninja117 2

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:58

uh I mean #28 my bad xD

besosforme 26

Wednesday 9 March 2011 8:02

51, I'm guessing the word you were looking for was psychology (science of mind and behaviors), rather than physiology (the science of the mechanical, physical, bioelectrical functions of living systems). We got the gist though =]