Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
krazy_glu3 0
I'm surprised I don't see a single person complaining tht OP said midget and not little person. thank god!!!!!
krez 20
It's like how black people have "N word privileges".
docscientist 10
No, it's not. Midget and Dwarf are technical terms for distinct reasons. It does not share the history of the N word at all.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
Mandarooo 7
It's not exactly "insensitive" of OP's daughter since she's not old enough to understand. If she still has show and tell, she's likely about four or five years old and doesn't know any better.
Trav72 5
97: Pretty sure Doc was just making puns. ;) And I counted three too haha.
Mandarooo 7
Yes, I saw the puns, thanks. The first comment was not one, though.
mintcar 10
I'm 5'8, I would seriously hate to be that short. FYL OP.
awardZu 0
I'm 6'2", and can't even imagine being that short... Though my wife is 5'1" and I pick on her all the time.
failblogftw 0
nice
Mauskau 36
I love being 5ft, the joys of not having to duck to pass trees and open cupboards <3
xxmollyxx 25
Legally considered? Are there many midget laws out there? :)
cptmorgan15 2
I don't know if it's considered a law, but there is a height where a person is legally considered a midget. I wonder how they picked the height though. Hmm.
Shorty_Shaza 5
wtf that was in reply to the comment thread with 36 lol
vegan_muffin 5
I think you could find some way to benefit from that, e.g. Dwarf Tossing. Orrrrrrr... LARPing.
MRSladyFACE 0
LARPing hahaha win
megatherium 4
Luckily, as a woman, it's more acceptable to be that short. Apparently lots of men find it attractive ;P I'm 4'11 and 22 years old, so I sympathize. I just wear four inch heels and no one seems to notice unless I take my shoes off.
primadonna9396 16
That's not too much of an FML, or at least it won't be once your daughter gets a bit older... You'll never have to buy new clothes ever again.
Mandarooo 7
What? Being short does not mean you'll never have to buy new clothes again. Just because OP is short doesn't mean she'll never gain or lose weight. Plus, adults aren't supposed to continue to grow, so even if she was taller, it wouldn't make a difference. She would still have to buy new clothes.
MRSladyFACE 0
You should definitely go to your child's show and tell. Dressed as an oompa loompa. Top it off with song and dance.
RyanX92 0
can't you get money from the government for that or is it for dwarfs only?
sgtrobswifey 0
Just think, your perfect size for bj's. I'm sure your hubby doesn't complain!! lol