Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML