Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Do I hear wedding bells?
XDNurse 0
isn't she precious.
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Comments (148)
narcoticjunkie 0
ewwwww sick asss bitch....
strandedinalimo 0
5 dollar foot long?
missASHLEYnicole 0
she sounds classy, hah.
DGross 8
lol @ #5 I've heard girls bragging about this in the past too.. kinda weird but human none the less. Everyone farts everyone craps... it's a part of life though I don't understand the rationale behind "bragging" to your friends how large your dump was... I must have missed the boat on that one.
dudeitsdanny 10
They're really bragging about how big a thing they can fit in their ass. =P
bettadenne1 0
haha 26 ftw
pandabear948756 0
Lol@26.
srunano 4
Dude, she is a keeper, a girl like that seldom comes around. Shows she is not shy about anything, anything!!!!! ;)
srunano 4
Damn, just noticed that the OP is a woman, well if your a lesbian go for it lol
pandemic_fml 0
Guys do this ALL THE TIME. Why is it so disgusting when a girl does it. We crap too.
ImaginaryFoe 1
You HAD too? FYL for being bound and gagged while being made to hear crap stories. If by some miracle you were not tied down, YDI for not telling her to stfu or walking away.
Tripout 0
op. WERE YOU BRAGGIN EARLIER? Maybe she felt compitition between the two of you. I think your not sayin the whole truth. HOW BIG WAS YOURS OP???
metalhead256 0
wow #5 realy not funny
supastarr 0
she dropped a predator missile in tha toilet haha
yourlifesfucked 0
@ 52... first of all , it is gross no matter who is talking about their crap. second, guys don't do it "all the time", or at least none that i know. go take ur feminazi-ism somewhere else kthxbye.
Novogrod 0
What are you smokin' #1? That shit is hooooot.
yourlifesfucked 0
52 take your feminazi-ism somewhere else. first of all, it is gross no matter WHO is talking about their crap, and second, guys dont do it "all the time" or at least none that i do. FFS its times like these i wish women had ovaries on the outside so we could kick them in the balls when they r bein *****.
yourlifesfucked 0
double post my bad
Inabsentia 0
Girls take dumps??
reyemrein 0
We must report this discovery to other scientists!
nightedge 0
who the **** r u
MF12 0
52 it's disgusting when guys do it too
StoryOfTheYear 15
bigger the hole the fatter the ho
Ben360 6
fake! girls don't poop!
Danielt104 6
I wonder if she's single? :P
sugarbabyxoxo 2
Ben360 is obviously right.. I mean I've never pooped... lol
drewbell 0
oh my gah!!! I'm crying here... strandedinalimo FTW
deanomiye 0
lmai numberr @5, manybe it was a 1 dollar five foot longg :o
deanomiye 0
it is gross to go to some body and describe your feces to them......
toxicxflower 0
this one made me laugh. I can see someone putting up their hands going "and the crap I took was THIS big" haha ohh that's a funny. :D
LexSwift 17
8- I laughed at that so hard that I choked on my own spit. Lmfao. thanks for the laugh.
safirestar09 0
141, I agree. I can see it in my head- "I sat down and then I was like, 'Holy Shizzle Cakes! That is one big shizzle! I can't believe I did that! I think I'll describe it to the first person I see once I leave this bathroom!'" (OP): "Help me, plz?
Sae_Ghelk 6
G... Girls can poop?
threer 30
@96 "Femi-nazi"? Go **** yourself, bro. Wanting equality is nothing like wanting genocide. She may have been making some inane claims, but do not go ******* with femiNISTS. We didn't say shit to you.
Acrominator 9
Damn you're annoying... :P That sucks I guess
Nolwen_fml 0
who cares, it's just shit. Once you get married and have kids, woman's poop won't bother you a second.
sexidimplez 0
omg tmi
killpro 0
And how is your life ******?
AndreaHaha 0
well jeez. Lol at number 5
ptdg 0
I would've gagged....
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmao gross
sugarbabyxoxo 2
why thank you eddie_paints ahaha
YourGoinDown14 2
^^^^ super beautiful!!! ^^^^ :)
mylifeblows3232 3
think you meant " super big boobs"
maskedman 9
Do I hear wedding bells?
XDNurse 0
isn't she precious.
CyrusTheBlue 0
Take it as a blessing. Now you know who not to get involved with.
raghavfyl 0
nasty
niibee 0
and if it were me id simply get up n walk away ... smh problem solved NEXT!
coolsteve 0
this is hot
susieKiute 0
so hot! ;) lol