Miscellaneous: Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful,...

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 729

You deserved it 2 377

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Same thing different taste

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 376

You deserved it 4 325

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 493

You deserved it 3 031

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 004

You deserved it 3 024

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 021

You deserved it 5 178

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 3 031

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 3 358

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 3 370

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 5 478

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.

A07 48

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"

Comments

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:14

Maybe he doesn't mean it.

vikky538 28

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:28

Men speak truth when they are drunk

devildog562 33

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:22

Definitely not true . I always lie when I'm drunk. "I swear I only had two beers." "I'm not that drunk." "Just the tip." So on and so forth

jayennachristine 23

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Then he hasn't drank enough

A07 48

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:51

Rather get back to him and call him DAD the whole freakin day!

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.

MrConcise 34

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:44

Depends on the context. In bed? If you're into that. Not knowing you have a child? Nope. Handing over an alimony check? Hell naw.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:16

Or maybe the dad's feelings were hurt because he thought OP was accusing him of being "HIGH" vs drunk. Lol

NonoMeow 18

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:37

Ooooh, that would make sense, #35 xD

MrConcise 34

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:04

So are we gonna start using "drunc" to say goodbye? ;)

IniestaRox 21

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:17

It must hurt to see him like that

scarred_foreva 40

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:20

Midlife crisis? Doesn't want to be reminded of his age maybe?

jodiitiger 13

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:21

Call him Victor (unless his name is actually Victor) to annoy him! He'll soon be begging for you to call him dad again xD

badmandilon 19

Saturday 16 May 2015 22:15

He probably don't think he deserves being called dad when he knows he is doing something bad.

ironmany_fml 23

Sunday 17 May 2015 0:06

plot twist, maybe he is not the real dad

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:24

May be he is not your dad. Perhaps your mum cheated and got pregnant with you but he forgave her and stayed married.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:52

Dad escalated quickly o.O

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:03

Dad was a pretty poor attempt at a joke.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:38

Dad's enough bro.

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:46

Dad be a fair request.

NonoMeow 18

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:06

Dad pun is starting to get annoying.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 20:00

Is dad so?

Cads1 24

Sunday 17 May 2015 2:45

I thought we were taking a break from dad.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:25

What he said reminded me of Eeyore.

DLS930 21

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:27

sorry to hear that OP! Maybe he was just in a bad mood and had drank too much and said something he didn't mean

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 760

You deserved it 15 563

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 131

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 554

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 770

You deserved it 1 350

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 2 816

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 881

You deserved it 4 403

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my parents, thinking they’d be excited. Instead, they gave me 30 days to find a new place, saying they refuse to raise “any more of your children.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 2 595

Today, I went to my girlfriend's apartment, but it was empty. I went to her parents' house, it was empty as well. She isn’t responding to my messages, so I guess I got ghosted in real life and online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 119

Same thing different taste

Drunk MC

It's better than nothing, I suppose

Crisis control

Anger management

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