Miscellaneous: Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful,...

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 2 382

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Same thing different taste

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 728

You deserved it 5 789

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 392

You deserved it 4 328

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 3 033

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 3 044

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 026

You deserved it 5 191

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 3 035

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 527

You deserved it 3 367

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 579

You deserved it 3 375

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 663

You deserved it 3 397

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 5 486

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.

A07 48

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"

Comments

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:14

Maybe he doesn't mean it.

vikky538 28

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:28

Men speak truth when they are drunk

devildog562 33

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:22

Definitely not true . I always lie when I'm drunk. "I swear I only had two beers." "I'm not that drunk." "Just the tip." So on and so forth

jayennachristine 23

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Then he hasn't drank enough

A07 48

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:51

Rather get back to him and call him DAD the whole freakin day!

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:15

He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.

MrConcise 34

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:44

Depends on the context. In bed? If you're into that. Not knowing you have a child? Nope. Handing over an alimony check? Hell naw.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:16

Or maybe the dad's feelings were hurt because he thought OP was accusing him of being "HIGH" vs drunk. Lol

NonoMeow 18

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:37

Ooooh, that would make sense, #35 xD

MrConcise 34

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:04

So are we gonna start using "drunc" to say goodbye? ;)

IniestaRox 21

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:17

It must hurt to see him like that

scarred_foreva 40

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:20

Midlife crisis? Doesn't want to be reminded of his age maybe?

jodiitiger 13

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:21

Call him Victor (unless his name is actually Victor) to annoy him! He'll soon be begging for you to call him dad again xD

badmandilon 19

Saturday 16 May 2015 22:15

He probably don't think he deserves being called dad when he knows he is doing something bad.

ironmany_fml 23

Sunday 17 May 2015 0:06

plot twist, maybe he is not the real dad

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:24

May be he is not your dad. Perhaps your mum cheated and got pregnant with you but he forgave her and stayed married.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:52

Dad escalated quickly o.O

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:03

Dad was a pretty poor attempt at a joke.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:38

Dad's enough bro.

Cads1 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 15:46

Dad be a fair request.

NonoMeow 18

Saturday 16 May 2015 17:06

Dad pun is starting to get annoying.

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 20:00

Is dad so?

Cads1 24

Sunday 17 May 2015 2:45

I thought we were taking a break from dad.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:25

What he said reminded me of Eeyore.

DLS930 21

Saturday 16 May 2015 14:27

sorry to hear that OP! Maybe he was just in a bad mood and had drank too much and said something he didn't mean

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I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 131

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 7 013

You deserved it 601

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I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 875

Today, I went to the campus health office because I had some VERY strong pains in my side. I thought my appendix was about to burst. I asked the receptionist for a doctor, but she said they were all out of the office until later, and kindly offered to make me an appointment for mid June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 135

Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 333

Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 265

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 939

You deserved it 8 161

Same thing different taste

Drunk MC

It's better than nothing, I suppose

Crisis control

Anger management

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