Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
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Top comments
peanutbutterfly 0
WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes
Phoenix_GAD 0
fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.
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Comments (160)
Colby_Colbert 0
by far the best FML EVER !!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!
cutebebe778 0
Trust me, this is the main reason I hate my iPhone!!!
GrapefruitZoe 0
This should be a "so what?" one.
I_am_stupid_also 6
No, at that point it would be covered in pee.
jessiebare 0
yeah you can rerecord it, for situations just like this...
audax 0
Here I was thinking that voicemail usually gives the option of editing the message you left. So, unless you hung up after you were finished, it should have let you leave a different message.
Me27 0
That was the most LOL-worthy FML in a LONNNNNG time.
DarthJeff 0
It's just a pee, not a massive dump.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
Then maybe his phone was off and went straight to voicemail. SHOCK, SURPRISE, YOU ANSWERED YOUR SMARTASS REMARK
peepo 0
ROTFL I would LOVE a call like this. I love prank calls too. Pranker: You better not start your car tommorow. Me: You better by hang up. Pranker: ...
Suckstbeyou 0
I think your bfs lucky. my gf tells me every time she's "taking me to the bathroom with her" and I get to hear her "tinkle" she thinks it's cute. she thinks her burping is cute too. no girl is THAT cute.
quackquackquac 0
I thought so too! And, wouldn't your phone be locked?
alex_vik 1
How does a touch screen phone start to call someone? Doesn't it require you to first unlock it, and then go to your contacts?