Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
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Top comments
peanutbutterfly 0
WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes
Phoenix_GAD 0
fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.
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Comments (160)
stopabreviating 0
Haha, this is halarious. To the people who say it's not an FML, you might be right, but since I enjoyed reading it more than some of the things on here that actually are FML's I don't mind, not at all. Bet you and the bf had a good laugh about this!
PureGold 0
1. He probably couldn't hear it enough to tell you were peeing...if he asks what that strange sound was, just say you were washing your hands and it was in your pocket. Or tell him the truth...he'll laugh but get over it, it's really not a bog deal. 2. You're lucky it didn't fall in the toilet. This FML really isn't funny...or an FML.
PureGold 0
*big Can't stand typos xP
rachybubbles 0
Haha! Yeah it definitely wasn't a "bog" deal! More of a pee deal...
audereyy 0
that seems kinda far-fetched you couldnt reach? how tall was your toilet? and it usually takes at least 15 seconds, even if the phone goes automatically to voicemail, to call someone and go through the whole voicemail thing before it actually starts leaving a message. and peeing isnt loud, and i doubt it could be picked up on the phone. if it did, you could just say the sink was running or something.
aback 5
Hope it doesn't turn him into a pee freak. THAT would be an FYL.
Kitty34_fml 0
This isn't an FML. My boyfriend would have found that pretty funny. If it was your work or your boss or something, that would be an FML. But not this.
Nightfallz 0
fake. no way a touchscreen can call someone by itself. I have dropped my iPhone plenty of times and it has never made it past the screen lock
Blue0ctane 0
The iPhone is NOT the only touch screen phone out there.
Bryan_Z 0
ROFL
grungecat 0
That would beecause iPhone uses a technology that senses the electrons of a human body, and doesn't react to anything else. FYL by the way.
Colby_Colbert 0
by far the best FML EVER !!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!
troubleprone 0
Everybody pees(: