Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
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Top comments
robbilee 14
just paint it or cover it with marker
stacster 0
well grab a sharpie and start turning penises into space ships
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Comments (243)
I_R_Genius 3
Way to go bro, you just sterotyped one country. People like you make me sick.
coolkid_matt 11
#39 Win!!! :D
I_R_Genius 3
Wow really? You just sterotyped one country dumbass. People like you make me sick. I really wish I could kill you right now, but I'm in the country you hate so you're lucky.
saleha97 4
my mom would be furious, so i would blackmail my dad :)
buuuulshit 0
yeah coz u can kick people with a hammer
coolkid_matt 11
i love the ku klux klan... google them?
shaunM 6
please disregard my previous comment #43 as it was meant to be a reply to #6
TheNewGuy03 29
you have a child for a dad. congrats! |the kid|
Warlemming 7
Lol.
doggywalker 1
Nelson Mandela has nothing to do with us civil rights. He was in south Africa in the 1990's you morron.