Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
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Comments (146)
Kr3tS22 0
I would feel bad if u weren't so ugly 0_o yikes
gilly011 0
Soo, let me get this straight. You think showing off that you have unprotected sex and having someone cum in you is cool? ydi, you...you, non-****! haha
greeneye_fml 12
Ah well at least Plan B has a shelf life of up to four years, so just keep it handy.
strawberryswirl 0
The only thing the cashier could possibly think is that you're an idiot for not using reliable birth control.
darkmis1 18
I seriously doubt the cashier would give a shit about your sex life.
kitties_fml 12
What the ****? You must be messed up in so many ways to put that much effort and money into making some random stranger think you're having sex--like the cashier would care anyway. Get help.
jellyfishdelight 0
......And then you posted on FML so you could read everyone say what a loser you are. dude. Try to actually do something with your life
hdashdana 0
BUY condoms, much cheaper
txdiva 0
Do u see the cashier all the time??? if not, then who cares??!!! really, who cares in the first place??!!
niibee 0
special ed.... there are hookers