Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
shananigans 0
And you think the cashier would give a damn if someone is sleeping with you because...?
jailbot 7
Wouldn't it have been a lot cheaper to buy condoms? All that did is waste at least $50 and make the cashier think you probably need to be tested for STDs.
maeyin 0
what #9 and #19 said. is it really that important to you for ppl to think you're having sex? YDI.
sesp61289 0
wow. so pathetic. first off, the cashier doesn't give a damn about your personal life, that's prob the last thing on their mind and they will forget you after you leave the store, second, why didn't you just use the money you spent on plan B and go fix whatever the problem is that may be making you undesireable? like really, it's not that hard to get laid. if your fat, you could have paid 2 months being a student for a gym membership. if it's how your face looks, then you could have bought better makeup to try to fix it, if possible. or if it's your hair, you could have put it towards a salon. but I guess instead you'd rather play the victim, therefore YDI. and p.s., noone really gives a damn about your sex life, you'll one day realize that most peoples opinions of you don't even matter. I say get off your ass and fix your problems that are scaring guys away.
victor90_fml 0
YDI for being a BBW
blondieeeeee 0
your just a ****** idiot!
Fop 6
This is why I hate living in Norway. Everyone's so God damn stupid! This is crossing the line, Jesus Christ! Why did you go ahead and do that? You're wasting your money! Since you're that stupid I doubt you even have a secure line of work, thus this could screw your economy over. Hell, I'm moving out when I hit 18.
autistic_pride 0
Why would someone lie about this? Not having sex is a good thing, not a bad thing. I don't understand.
disney_blonde 16
If you care that desperately that the cashier thinks you're getting laid, you should've just bought condoms. Much cheaper and they don't expire for a few years so maybe you'll get laid in that time and get to use them.
Beatriz15 0
why do u care what some random stranger thinks of u? it's stupid and u just threw away your money. I bet the person wrkng there doesn't give a fck. Have some more confidence urself SMH