Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Secret_Fire_King 0
Ok.. I understand now..
bread_fml 0
You'd get the same results by buying condoms and without looking irresponisble. Idiot.
matthew33_fml 0
Well if you ask I'll sleep with u ;)
alaroo101 0
This is just lame. I have had to buy Plan B, and I was so embarassed it's definitely something that you should not take pride in buying. Or pride that you bought it to make others think you were having sex. Who the f--k cares of what other people think. They probably think you are some **** for buying it. Next time, save the money and go find someone to screw. There are plenty of people out there.
ashiiya 0
Wow do you really have to "prove yourself" to a random cashier? I wouldn't even buy such a thing, people whould actually think I was weird and crazy for it, especially if I was buying it on purpose when I didn't even need it. But whatever, your call, but I don't think that makes you any more attractive.
xmagster 0
OP, you are a ******* idiot. WHY in the HEll do you give 2 ***** about what a CASHIER thinks about you?! You are attempting to "impress" them by showing them that you where, too drunk/ irresponsible/ skanky to use your birth control correctly? WOW. THAT"S HOT. Please use birth control you ever do do it, because we don't need any more dumb people in the world... ¬¬
ReeNAh 0
awww that sucks
ralphyr 0
Wil yew mary mi?
Rachel420o8 0
wow... Plan B is like $50 at Rite Aid...
Erindub 0
You are made of crazy