Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
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Comments (146)
did_it_4_lulz 0
I see ugly people with bf's/gf's all the time. I doubt you're really that repulsive, OP. Just get out more.
abalgatti 0
well now even the cashier wont want you if he thinks you got a bun in the oven. stupid wannabe whoretruck
NotMeh 0
lol @65
imdeborah 0
wtf? woooooooow...the cashier probably paid no mind to it. who caressssss.
maskedman 9
The OP needs a Plan C.
CallMeHush 1
Yep, A big honkin' *****. weeeehaaaa!
maskedman 9
That's a plan D (for *****). Plan C involves concentrating on finding a man. I thought this was easy for women but I guess there are certain circumstances.
CallMeHush 1
Where were all these when I was single? Could have really knocked up the average a bit.
MissBrightsidee 0
don't you need a doctors prescription for that?
greeneye_fml 12
No, you do not. Its over the counter now. Warning: Don't let wingnut pharmacists confuse you on this!
ishankedyourcat 0
if u wanted to make there cashier think someone would actually sleep with u u shloud have bought a box of condoms . not spend $50on a pill. seeing u buy that prolly gave him bad thoughts about u :/
wildcatz 1
I'm not getting any either. I'll sleep with you
youthink_fml 0
**** the cashier's life. You're an idiot.
canigoswimming 0
Seriously, what is wrong with you? This is this dumbest idea I have ever heard.