Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
LtHoward 0
Wow.. really? Why do you even want to "impress??" some guy you don't even know? A pointless waste of money.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
A better plan would be: -an assortment of flavored, vibrating, and variously ribbed condoms -that tingly lube -massage oil -whipped cream -chocolate, caramel, and marshmallow sauce -rope or scarves -sleep mask -Epsom salts, ibuprofen, and/or icy hot for the day after I limited my list to what you could find at my local Rite Aid or CVS. He'd be drooling by the time he handed you a receipt, and it might even be cheaper than Plan B!
Thoureau 0
You, my good sir, win the Internet.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Why thank you, my dear ma'am.
blademaster23 0
either ur a lieing bitch or ur really hot!
corme_fml 0
If you want to go out and have sex. DO IT. A woman not being able to find a guy to sleep with is a joke. I know that sounds incredibly harsh but it's true. Go to plentyoffish.com, post a profile and you will easily have hundreds of options in a week. OP pisses me off XO
ChrisJ13 0
wow u need to get q life
shhthppns 0
You're so stupid. that sht's expensive. if i had fifty bucks to blow on plan b id use it for something else. geeze.
0mfgz 0
You do realize the you'll most likely never see them again in your life, right?
ColdGold 6
You may be suffering from lack of sunlight. Otherwise, you probably would care what someone thinks.
cjdeskins09 0
i agree
ReaganSmiles 0
that is the abortion pill! dont ever use it no matter what! ABORTION IS MURDER!
turdburgers 0
....did you even read the FML? She was never pregnant. Of course, you seem like the type that would find an unpregnant woman to be a crime in the first place.
shhthppns 0
wow, chill.
xmagster 0
#164: Look, I get being anti abortion and all. I'm not judging on you, but seriously, you sound like a ******* retard when you yell about abortion being murder. >___> and btw, get your facts strait. They even say on commercials that it's non abortive...
greeneye_fml 12
#164 You're an idiot. Plan B is not the abortion pill, thats RU-486 and you don't just buy that over the counter.
Thisbe_fml 0
And it doesn't cause abortions; it only prevents eggs from implanting on the uterine wall. Which is why you have to take it immediately or it doesn't work.