Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
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Comments (146)
snickerdoodlesAI 0
cool
AquaB 0
you're a DUMB Ass chick and I see y no one wants to **** you
Charlieb023 0
I've always understood that Norwegian and Swedish woman were sexy blonde haired and blue eyed. Why happened?
liloneex3 0
wow, that's sad. yu could've just bought a pack of condoms and saved yurself some $$$; lmaoo.
ghostwitch1863 0
wow! why would you even care what some stranger at the store thinks of you? clearly you have more serious issues other than no one sleeping with you.
Thoureau 0
First of all, I really hate FMLs like this where someone complains about their sex life as early as their teens-20's. I understand if they are in their 30's-40's, but I assume that the bulk of the people here are teens and young adults. Just because you haven't had sex that early doesn't mean that you are a bad person. I turn 18 next month and I'm still a virgin. If I didn't care, I probably could find a way to lose it, but for me, it's about finding someone I really care about to take the risks involved. Secondly, if you feel that you have to make everyone you meet think that you have a sex life to cover up your lack thereof, you have worse problems than being a virgin (which you wouldn't have posted this FML if the opposite were true). Forgetting the fact that you seem to be oh so desperate to get laid, I really doubt that random people care about whether or not you had sex. FYL for thinking that you have to lose your virginity and YDI for giving people a reason not to sleep with you.
Joey7361 0
intelligence wins
sesp61289 0
Couldn't have said it better!
xNephilim 19
Well said. I waited until I was 18 to lose my virginity and the guy I lost it to is now my fiancé and we have a baby on the way. I didn't care that I hadn't had sex before because that's not what I base my self-worth on. It's rather stupid to base it on anything physical.
korn247 5
wow you're lame. you don't even deserve to be on here
barfobulator 0
"Today I did something senseless to impress someone who I will never see again and who couldn't care less besides. It made me realize how much of a loser I am in retrospect. FML
Lisa89 3
You have major psychological issues. Seriously. For doing this then posting it on here. YDI. I just hope it's a fake FML, or else I think you need help.
cadillackitty 0
I do think buying condoms would have been cheaper and then you could have at least use them as water balloons.