Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
josiem 11
I don't know what the law is like where you are, OP, but you may be able to contest that. That is a cruel and disgusting dick move on the part of your grandfather, and I think the courts would agree. Good luck!
gardenwhipped3 14
I have considered giving my brother a similar kind of offer and I am not even dead yet.
SpartanMerc 18
Could always maje a deposit at a sperm bank (and of course get paid for that) and then get the vasectomy, gaining $3,500, minus the cost of the vasectomy.
Shazam25 7
I'd go for it. Save some baby batter in a bank and then get the vasectomy. $3500 I didn't have is now in my pocket and bills or other expenses can get paid.
The_9th_Doctor 18
do it, get the money, get it reversed
doglover100 28
Yes because you can control if you are born to married parents or not.
NamelessFace 22
$3500? Not worth it. If you want to throw away money so badly, at least put it towards something useful like a charity.
AndyKeselogano 8
I hate family like that. You didn't ask to be born out of wedlock, therefore, they shouldn't be treating you like garbage. They're the ones who need to be looked down upon. Why should it matter anyway? Marriage only provides financial benefits, in most cases, to the beneficiaries. It shouldn't determine whether or not your family loves you. You're still their family by blood. If they can't appreciate you over something out of your control, then good riddance on them!
NickACD 27
You could've gone to the sperm bank and left as much as you could.