Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
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Top comments
wishfulthinks 19
Silver linings OP - At least you didn't have to pick it up!
archnarquibquib 21
That's absolutely disgusting. I dry heaved reading that.
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Comments (79)
wishfulthinks 19
Silver linings OP - At least you didn't have to pick it up!
happyturtle 16
it's the poop throwing guy from 9gag!!! :D
Rainbow2Cloud 12
That and OP didn't have to see it!
slingerslasher 24
Plot twist: OP is a college professor.
pabj208 23
Yep, sounds like problem solved to me!
NotPatSajak 11
I would probably back away slowly and avoid all hand contact with that student until the end of time.
triple666__ 19
oh then it's fine. ;)
Woedel 25
Ehh, at least she flushed it down herself and you didn't have to do that.. This is good time to be thankful for the chlorine in pools!
Woedel 25
*A good time. As in, let her wash up and push her in. Not that it's less gross.
TechnicallyWrong 12
How old are your students? And at least she didn't keep it there. But FYL indeed.
JazzHandsFML 28
it's likely very young due to the inability to swim or control bowel movements, but then again a lot of people don't know how to swim. and most elderly cannot control bowel movements
p36288 17
The category says Kid, so she must be very little...
Welshite 39
Every time I go to the pool I'm tempted to throw a snickers bar in and then eat it in front of horror stricken stares. This girl missed a golden opportunity to take it to a whole new level.
foxy4353 10
Ugh... who'd eat a soaked snickers bar?
brieee 23
I really hope they were a kid since it's not specified...
Sneado 20
What a crappy situation.
AndyPurdy 31
why does everyone use that?
jerryj 27
Because they are scum.
False_Stupidity 41
There's always that one person......
PePziNL 20
You know those jokes that are so overused they become funny again? This isn't one of them.
archnarquibquib 21
That's absolutely disgusting. I dry heaved reading that.
Weiss_Schnee 14
Nothing to do with the post, just saying that the qurians annoy the hell out of me. Goodbye.
Bookworm257 13
That's just gross. I hope you had a talk with the student and/or their parents.