Kids: Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he... - FML

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 655

You deserved it 7 137

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Spicy

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Spicy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 8 203

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 125

You deserved it 2 088

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 29 580

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 185

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 8 640

By Bad parenting101 - 08/01/2017 03:23 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 866

You deserved it 2 278

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 233

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 527

You deserved it 6 059

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 112

Next

Top comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)

Comments

olpally 32

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

No, just no. Military school for him! lol.

tomwantssnow 14

Friday 15 August 2014 5:07

Yeah, let's ruin the kid's childhood for being honest!

allie2590 31

Friday 15 August 2014 5:08

Dude seriously? His honesty is like the only good thing in this situation.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 15 August 2014 5:24

How does military school ruin your life?

naajster 14

Friday 15 August 2014 5:41

Sounds like your kid has a plan!

schhichick 14

Friday 15 August 2014 6:05

Ursula Buffay did not go to military school

kaylamarriee 10

Friday 15 August 2014 6:05

#9 I went to military school, didn't ruin my life at all.

J_Kertz 14

Friday 15 August 2014 9:10

#9 I don't even know if you'd call that honesty... The kid is 10. That's probably just something he heard somewhere.

fsomelife 26

Friday 15 August 2014 9:17

Yup, zombify him for being clueless at a clueless age.

TheLostLegend 2

Friday 15 August 2014 15:39

...It'll probably get pretty STICKY.

mallu86 9

Friday 15 August 2014 19:52

I'm not sure about you being a legend. But you sure are lost #85.

myFAILEDLIFE990 6

Friday 15 August 2014 23:01

I didnt see it CUMMING in his moms face

Since1998 20

Sunday 17 August 2014 20:35

#113... what? That was just disgusting.

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

Journiexo 18

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

At least the kid has dreams!

Soviet_American 29

Friday 15 August 2014 5:10

Yeah that's step 1! Set a goal!

businessleader_fml 5

Friday 15 August 2014 7:29

Wise choice! Such a stable business...

veracruzana922 6

Friday 15 August 2014 19:21

Hahaha 69 likes on your comment #3

whenitdidhappen 14

Friday 15 August 2014 19:43

yeah,really wet ones

whenitdidhappen 14

Friday 15 August 2014 19:45

I'm sorry OP. I was kidding and didn't find it funny a while after,FYL.

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:16

Hehe

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:18

Hehe

xSPEECHLESS 10

Saturday 16 August 2014 1:04

He probably gonna have some "stiff" competition

chrissapp 18

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

It's the best way to make everyone happy.

Wingman527 22

Friday 15 August 2014 5:06

That kid is going places in life

schhichick 14

Friday 15 August 2014 6:04

Just like Ursula Buffay

trex454 21

Friday 15 August 2014 6:57

37 this is at least the third reference I have seen you make to friends. its getting weird now please stop.

najraa 19

Friday 15 August 2014 9:18

not college, but places !

fsomelife 26

Friday 15 August 2014 9:19

"It's hawd to stawp."

NopeFuckThat 7

Friday 15 August 2014 10:18

Wet places

drica_17 11

Friday 15 August 2014 5:06

Well, at least he's got aspirations....

MortenM 17

Friday 15 August 2014 18:13

Yea, let's he'll work hard at it

allie2590 31

Friday 15 August 2014 5:06

Well! Time to find out who taught him that one.

mysadlyfe 9

Friday 15 August 2014 5:08

tell him hes gonna have to RAISE his expectations

naajster 14

Friday 15 August 2014 5:42

... but it's a LONG shot

Liamj774 36

Friday 15 August 2014 6:36

... And he's probably going to have a HARD time

A7XCamaro 19

Friday 15 August 2014 22:43

Erection

starcaller17 16

Friday 15 August 2014 22:50

#111, thanks for your contribution.

A7XCamaro 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 18:23

You're very welcome. It seemed like it needed to be done

Steve95401 49

Friday 15 August 2014 5:08

He might not be up for the job.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 932

You deserved it 5 095

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

The Top

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 594

You deserved it 3 096

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 945

You deserved it 4 678

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 2 036

Today, I found out that the girl I love loves me back. The two of us are madly in love with each other but we can't do anything about it because our religions and our castes are different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 331

Today, while planning for my wedding, I can’t stop thinking about my ex. He is my "one", and it’s still so hard to move on. Now I’m marrying someone for stability for my kids, not love, and it is the worst feeling. My heart will forever be in Harrisonville Missouri. He deserves the world, not Texas rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 116