Kids: Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he... - FML

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 638

You deserved it 7 131

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Spicy

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Spicy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 8 199

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 113

You deserved it 2 086

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 29 562

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 277

You deserved it 3 181

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 8 636

By Bad parenting101 - 08/01/2017 03:23 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 843

You deserved it 2 255

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 4 226

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 516

You deserved it 6 056

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Spicy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 179

Next

Top comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)

Comments

crazaytits 3

Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:44

The kid probably learned that from school

IntoYourIcyBlues 7

Wednesday 20 August 2014 16:16

Good for him on having career goals already

Epiccake 15

Friday 22 August 2014 0:39

They grow up so fast.

bigD9 4

Friday 22 August 2014 5:01

I just spent orange juice all over my self hilarious

DatWeirdoDoe 9

Sunday 24 August 2014 1:44

Let him dream !

laylaeve 9

Monday 25 August 2014 23:05

I would seriously question what the hell he's been watching

JerryThePenguin 4

Wednesday 3 September 2014 13:33

What in the actual **** are you teaching your chldren

trumpet27 1

Wednesday 15 February 2017 16:56

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 91

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 14 619

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 003

You deserved it 320

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 773

You deserved it 53 631

Today, my boyfriend had a nightmare, talking in his sleep about not hurting himself anymore or "auntie Nat Nat" will put him "back in the home with the mean doctors and the sicky medicine." WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 103

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 004

You deserved it 7 542

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 048

You deserved it 1 841