Kids: Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he... - FML

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 638

You deserved it 7 131

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Spicy

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Spicy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 8 199

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 113

You deserved it 2 086

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 29 562

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 277

You deserved it 3 181

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 8 636

By Bad parenting101 - 08/01/2017 03:23 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 843

You deserved it 2 255

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 4 226

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 516

You deserved it 6 056

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Spicy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 179

Next

Top comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)

Comments

anonymisslady 5

Saturday 16 August 2014 4:54

bad parenting... leads to this.

limabeans101029 20

Saturday 16 August 2014 13:51

Not necessarily. Kids pick this kind of stuff up from loads of places. I hate how people always jump to "bad parenting"

Icebrisket 5

Saturday 16 August 2014 5:51

Parenting at its best haha just like his dad

colecarter68 3

Saturday 16 August 2014 5:57

FML? THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?! YOUR KIDS AWESOME!

Keyboardcat395 3

Saturday 16 August 2014 7:54

Maybe he doesn't know what it means and someone told him it meant something better?

VancouverGuy89 9

Saturday 16 August 2014 9:19

Atta boy stick to the barely legal girls

xIlluminated 6

Saturday 16 August 2014 16:36

He has a bright future in front of him

mclovin22897 15

Sunday 17 August 2014 5:18

They do make good money....

abbey728 16

Monday 18 August 2014 2:36

*when he gets grows up*

kcgatsby 8

Monday 18 August 2014 12:59

your ten years old son is quite ambitious

MacWorms 10

Monday 18 August 2014 19:41

At least he's a star........ I'll be here all night

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 15 561

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 790

You deserved it 16 307

The Top

Today, it was my first day as a server at Olive Garden and a customer walked out without paying. It was the new manager's first day too, and he decided to write me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 85

Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 272

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 849

You deserved it 3 977

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 412

You deserved it 12 968

Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent $450 at the vet only to find out that our cat is perfectly healthy. He just has separation anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 848

You deserved it 659

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 327

You deserved it 10 632