By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 599
You deserved it 4 973

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I love how this FML sounds more annoyed than anything.

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I wonder if it was the same subjects attempting to kidnap OP or not, kidnap cases can get very complicated. Or maybe OP is just very unlucky/risky, we'll never know.

Damn those free candy signs!!!!!!!

1- Nice lame comment to attempt to get the #1 spot.

On the bright side, it was an almost! ^_^ What exactly possesses people to kidnap you, though? Because if you're just meeting up with like fifty million random strangers from the Internet a week, that's bound to happen... But if there's some other cause, fuck your life

^ Because kidnapping doesn't exist here in Canada!

RealReasons 0

The best I can say is at least OP didn't get kidnapped. When someone gets near me, I run away yelling RAAAPEE! Maybe the assailant was Professor Oak, maybe he wanted to know of OP was a boy or a girl because I'm stumped.

How do you almost get kidnapped?? And if it's an adult is it still kidnapping... Or is it adultnapping...?? Just kidding.

#74 are you kidding or adulting?

geerod22 5

53- He was referring to the U.S/Mexican border.

Why do people assume the kidnappers are interested in sex? Maybe OP is some fat boy with very wealthy parents. Maybe it's the wife of a Mexican drug lord. Maybe they are in a fraternity and get pranked like that. Who knows?

102: hahahaha that was funny... No I was teenagering

121 So.. fat boys can't be attractive?

siickman 7

131- 75% of the time they cant be... Very rarely you see attractive fat boys...

dsbs 9

165- have you seen the hangover?

You're probably a kidnapper.

SystemofaBlink41 27

165- hmmm... I'd say you're 75% asshole, 25% protein shake

Am i the only one who assumes this is about some rivalry between navy and army? ...

kidnap you once shame on me, kidnap you twice you deserve it.

You should always carry the "rape" alarm with you at all times!! :)

I've heard of a rape whistle, but what in earth is a rape alarm?

*on. Oh dear, not having a great night, sorry to all the Grammar Nazis out there!

Inheritance 10

*news flash tomorrow* Rapest: Come back here I got candy! OP: Ahhhh! *not again, everyday.."

Forget the rape whistle, I'd carry a weapon.

EvilTwerp 12

So are you Princess Peach, or Zelda?

Megan98 18

Or you can just sing the rape song. Which goes like this.... Hey! Don't touch me there, this is my private square. R-A-P-E, Get that thing away from me! Go rape someone else, go rape someone else! :)

SlyTail 5

I had a friend that was forced by her parents to keep a 'rape alarm' on her keys. When you'd press the button, it would let out a piercing alarm. My friends would always follow her and press the button. Atleast we always knew where she was in the school..

cardonaj70 3

If someone's trying to rape you yell Free money

Like anyone would want to R her! - buster

140- You might be my new favorite person.

Run!! Run and don't look back!! Then, it might be time to file a police report.

OP probably already has. Seems like the type of person to make mountains out of molehills. Example: OP drops keys. Stranger picks them up to give to her. OP: "Thief! Thief! This man is trying to steal my car!" And my reasoning for thinking this? Who gets *almost* kidnapped.... Twice...?

thefatman38 4

I would for sure be running from anyone that looks like you #3

Sounds like they live in Uganda :/

Killuhk 8

Tigerarmy* all of your comments start out with, "run!!! run and don't look back!!!" lol you must have had a troubled past life

Take it as a compliment! At least your good enough to be kidnapped! Haha

I say move out of the area. If you ve been almost kidnapped twice then I'm guessing you could find somewhere better

Kylluhk* It just happens to be good advice, so good I gave it twice.

KnightAngela1109 10

It is good advice you can solve most problems by running but keep in mind you have to be the dominate runner in the situation:)

Tygerarmy, is that paint or a tattoo on your face?

My face is paint, the rest is ink.

KnightAngela1109 10

It's very hot:)

A fellow ginger! Our numbers are dwindling, but we will survive. Ginger salute!

notnertyelkcub 1

It's estimated within 75 years or so no new natural red heads will be born.

perhaps you should remember to run when a white van pulls up offering you candy.

I don't get that, I mean I do have candy and they run

86- why do u try so hard....it never works.

MistaKrista 8

86- Your picture and that comment went perfect together.

Got in van. No candy. Bad luck bryan

I love how this FML sounds more annoyed than anything.

This FML took me forever to click on!

Click on the one above it, then press the down arrow.

beelee1988 13

I was thinking the same thing. Must be something special about OP?

PuffDaddy395 3

It's almost as if getting kidnapped is almost a normal thing for them.

Alan2 24

114- Almost

Exactly what I was thinking! Shouldn't op be more scared?

We all have secret talents. Op is a kidnaper magnet. I know it's like he/she went "Oh God not again. This is quite bothersome, I wish they didn't kidnap me on such daily basis, it's quite tiring."

I'm wondering if OP is Princess Peach... Did a short, chubby guy and his tall, skinny brother save you?

Your whistle come in handy, doesn't it?

I'm getting this kid a rape whistle if he doesn't have one....

Killuhk 8

I think he bought the wrong rape/kidnap whistle....OP you're supposed to buy the one that REPELS, not attracts the bad guys...fyi lol

My mom gave me a whistle when I was 14. Seemed kind of pointless. I never carried it around and I'm fortunate enough to not have needed it. But OP should invest in a very big one.

Plush4318 1

I always fall for the 'free candy' rape van too. Don't worry.

I'm more partial to free cupcakes, to each their own...

hockeyoceancity 13

Don't forget the old, "I lost my cute puppy can you help me search please" or the, " Your mommy told me to pick you up she's in the hospital!"

If there's a colouring book in the van, I'm in.

Hey, I'm getting into the van if they have proof that Shane Dawson is in the back. Anyone? Just me? Okay...

I loved that Tosh.O where the guy in the van asks a kid for help in finding his dog. Then when he gets in he's like, "Are you f*ckig retarded? I just kidnapped you, you idiot!" Or something on those lines.

Stranger danger!

Run fast as you can OP then hide somewhere where the kidnappers can't get ya!

KM96 24

Now, where would that be?

Antarctica, possibly?

Other great places -the moon -center of the earth -iraq -the white house Just some suggestions

This just makes me want to be able to change my username even more D: I still don't know why it's not an option.

What are you doing that is making crazies wanna kidnap you?

how's being hot for a start?

I don't think u can call op hot...maybe the reason why it's "almost" is because they get op in the van then they see op's face and yell "SWEET BABY JESUS THROW THAT FUCKER BACK!!!!!!!"

91 speaks the truth. Statiscally you are more likely to get kidnapped if your hot.

MerrikBarbarian 9

118- actually no. People who look unsure of themselves or are distracted are. Attractiveness has little to do with it. It probably lowers your odds if anything because you look confident and confident people are more likely to fight back