gonavybeatarmy
San Diego, United States
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
insomnitude
United States
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Starving Ultimatum
United States
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
irony, huh?
Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza
United States
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Tanner
United States
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
sorrystupid
United States
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Anonymous
Iowa Park, United States
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
anoymus
United States
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Top comments
Doxy 22
I love how this FML sounds more annoyed than anything.
Hurrikhan 12
What?!
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Comments (233)
hotcommodity01 1
Details! Such a tease OP, maybe that's why people want to kidnap you!
kotabones 0
Too fat to fit in the van or too ugly to be able to warrant ransom?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You might want to talk to the cops about that. Just throwing that out there.
BCrazzi 9
At least it means ur not ugly..:3
error_031 0
O RLY?
Zangetsu67 5
Congrats on the short post
SammaWhamma 3
Do you happen to live in the mushroom Kingdom? That damn Bowser never gives up...
a124 4
Wow..
sambudd14 2
Turn the tables and kidnap your kidnapper! Works every time!...
owo_fml 9
Alright here's a secret technique. Next time you see a kidnapper creeping up to you, say, "Swiper no swiping" and he is bound by the laws of the heavens above to leave you alone. If you listen closely enough, you may even hear, "Awww, man!"
bmwilliams 7
You have to say it 3 times. Swiper gets it the third time. But if he grabs you before you say it 3 times, you're just SOL.