By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 591
You deserved it 46 271

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well, at least drunken you doesn't burn down orphanages or anything... just, you know, chews gum.

SexySlayer1248 18

Darwinism gives you the first one free


Well, at least drunken you doesn't burn down orphanages or anything... just, you know, chews gum.

StalkerChick 13

Yea, deadly amount of gum. Way to go OP, you cheated death!

senor_awesome 14

Let's hope this near death experience and this comment don't give OP any ideas for their next drunken escapades...

(drunk talk) I swear oceifer! those orphans was all burned when I gots here! I was trying to do mythbusters and make a bigger flame next to the orpanage to put it out! what? thats a hospital next to the oarfanage? wow...that was dark...*seeks help*

48 -Did you really think anyone would think that was funny? I hate you.

You're being very harsh today wardo! You can hate someone you've never ever met. Unless it's Giovanna Plowman, that girl is NASTY!

SexySlayer1248 18

Darwinism gives you the first one free

Thought that was spiderman? "Everybody gets one"

SexySlayer1248 18

I was gonna say that but not everyone gets the family guy reference

GemmaStyles 14

Thank you for stating the obvious

iOceanus 18

You really shouldn't consider doing thongs like that while intoxicated. It would suck for your family to hear that you died of drinking and chewing.

I nearly spittaked when I read this. Mostly because I got an image in my head of a drunk eating a whole package of thongs!

dmoran20 27

Yeah, drinking and thongs can be a dangerous combo!

I agree. His footwear attire was completely inappropriate... Sandals are always a bad idea when intoxicated.

I had to thumb this up just because it was a funny **** up

Any non-Aussies getting confused about sandal reference in thread about thong underwear? Aussies call thongs g-strings and flip-flops thongs.

44- a fair bit of us 'muricans say the same.

Yeah, and for some reason, I call the shoes flip-flops and the undergarments thongs--when I'm not callnig them butt floss. YDI, OP, but I'm sure you know this.

iOceanus 18

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't think OP could handle any gum while intoxicated.

It was sarcasm, don't worry about my bubble. (There's a pun there somewhere...)

dmoran20 27

For once I am at a loss for words... Glad you're ok though :-)

Then why comment if you're at a loss for words?

dmoran20 27

Obviously you didn't read where I said "glad your ok" as far as loss for words? Means I was shocked into silence.

dmoran20 27

Sure thing #74 right after you choke on this dick. Never fails, always 1 punk who doesn't know their place. Run along now, and feel free to come back and enlighten us with those profound comments of yours....

I love this, because it reminds me of when I was a kid, I tried to chew full packs of gum aaaall the time! Me as a child and drunk OP would have so much fun together.