Health: Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second...

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 627

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Same thing different taste

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 003

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 455

You deserved it 17 142

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 671

You deserved it 5 373

By ThisGuy97 - 12/08/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 943

You deserved it 32 288

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 334

By The Seamstress - 20/05/2017 11:00 - United States - Irving

Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 5 520

Too many to count

By pagvscgrac - 13/03/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 078

You deserved it 25 362

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 033

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 950

You deserved it 1 097

By skyllabeauty1234 - 23/07/2015 03:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 235

You deserved it 2 718

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 11 October 2018 1:26

Sounds like you're over-enthusiastic when you chew. Or you have too much gum at once.

onceuponatime456 16

Thursday 18 October 2018 15:42

You're NOT supposed to chew the whole package, just one piece!

Comments

mutlupb 4

Wednesday 10 October 2018 21:24

Double the pleasure, double the fun?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 11 October 2018 1:26

Sounds like you're over-enthusiastic when you chew. Or you have too much gum at once.

SaltyLurker 10

Thursday 18 October 2018 13:49

YDI for not being part of the Aryan race with perfectly strong jaw-lines.

Pornstartled 14

Thursday 18 October 2018 14:22

Karma. I really detest people (publicly) chewung gum.

Alaina Heuerman 20

Friday 2 November 2018 16:04

I was in my living room...

onceuponatime456 16

Thursday 18 October 2018 15:42

You're NOT supposed to chew the whole package, just one piece!

purplepixie23 16

Thursday 18 October 2018 17:45

Time to switch to tic tacs

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 October 2018 18:11

Don’t try a jaw-breaker. They way you eat, part of your face might fall off!

vegantreegirl 26

Thursday 18 October 2018 22:19

Ouch. I'm sorry. I have weird joint issues so sometimes when I yawn my jaw dislocates. Super fun!

raganerus 17

Friday 19 October 2018 1:55

gum sucks, makes peope look unintrressted and its a laxitiv.

Stealthninjaa 19

Friday 19 October 2018 2:56

The first time FYL, the second time you deserve it.

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 637

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 871

You deserved it 7 783

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 241

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 37

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 612

You deserved it 4 747

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 090

Same thing different taste

Fighting fit

Too many to count

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