Health: Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 365

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/01/2012 17:21 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 371

You deserved it 6 465

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 938

You deserved it 44 869

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 5 782

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 615

By guyshithappensto - 22/05/2010 02:41 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 117

You deserved it 41 722

Damn

By suicide - 04/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 809

You deserved it 33 869

Nervous Nelly

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 893

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 209

You deserved it 2 474

satomi_ishida 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:23

Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-

MassEffectNerd 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:13

weirder things have happend

Comments

MassEffectNerd 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:13

weirder things have happend

mariluvs 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:32

true

anorexicbarbie 8

Monday 10 January 2011 23:45

I love mass effect too! :)

laurabev 9

Monday 10 January 2011 23:58

Maybe you should use the leftover bottle to make one of those bonsai kittens...

buzz18 7

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:39

I'd of laughed :D

DaveOnDope 4

Tuesday 11 January 2011 1:23

hurted too much

iSitt 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 5:33

he thinks he made you faint from fright.

Seb_Beats_Ballin 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 8:59

so true bro

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 10 January 2011 23:18

lol too much of anything is a bad thing

tryttyryr 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:19

Blah blah blah, less talking more plugging my face with ****.

tralalafifa 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 12:47

Wtf?

DaDezza244 31

Tuesday 27 November 2012 5:17

What kind of A person are you #4? Heartless Bitch

19nick97 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:21

Wow u sound like a nerd who passes out from water

baralotta 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:22

thats not a FML, THATS ******* HILARIOUS!! XD

satomi_ishida 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:23

Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-

lalagirl912 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:18

no give him chili with his parents in it :) who knows where that's from?? *licks your tears*

OhBehaveAustin 0

Friday 14 January 2011 6:14

you south park alcoholic

m00sh 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 20:26

hahahaha

kpop_cutie93 3

Monday 10 January 2011 23:23

it's okay, one time I was choking on water too and my friends just laughed instead of helping

dragonaair 5

Monday 10 January 2011 23:24

That is pretty hilarious!

redrookie 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:25

agreed # 6. tht just sounds REALLY funny I don't c the FML in tht

DocBastard 38

Monday 10 January 2011 23:38

Is there something wrong with your "a" key, or are you just savoring the 14 milliseconds that you saved typing "tht" instead of "that"?

7lollypop7 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:53

Doc, I love you.

Zmeilerr 22

Tuesday 11 January 2011 1:18

He's married.

joooeee 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 2:41

Hey maybe his "a" key is jammed or he doesn't have a left pinky to use to type it. Don't be so discriminatory.

iluvfmls456 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:26

his "a" key works just fine. his comment starts with an "a"

xFalzz 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:25

Choking on drinking water is always comical.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

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I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 3 268

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I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 225

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I agree, your life sucks 36 917

You deserved it 2 881

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I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 268

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I agree, your life sucks 44 075

You deserved it 4 310

Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 713

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Blackout

Damn

Nervous Nelly

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