Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, for Valentine’s Day, I got my boyfriend chocolates, a new Xbox game and planned lots of kinky sexy time. He ate the chocolate, orgasmed after three thrusts, had a 2-hour nap, then ignored me while playing the new game all afternoon. He didn’t get me anything, not even my own orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
thebeautybleeds 17
At least he remembered it was Valentine's day?
DocBastard 40
You would perhaps prefer that he either ate the whole thing or left it out in the sun so it would melt? Show some gratitude. All I got today was a cigarette butt and a purple nurple.
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Comments (171)
ImInYourFACEbook 8
OP's Bf: What? She didn't like it? I hershey loves chocolate!
MickGold 8
That's pretty cheap. He could definitely do better, but think on the bright side, at least he got you something to show he loves you!;)
Dracoboxer357 36
Uh, sorry MickGold, I don't really agree with the last part of your comment. If he was really broke and wanted to show her he cared, all he had to do was come home, wrap his arms around her, and tell her that she's his everything he never knew he was missing in his life. That would be worth so much more to me than most things you could buy me for Valentine's Day and certainly better a half-eaten chocolate bar. :)
Dracoboxer357 36
^ sigh..... Better Than a half.....well you get it. :p
faintestlemon 2
Seriously? I got nothing from my girlfriend and I'm not complaining
PlaidPanda 9
Agreed, nothing from my fiance.. not complaining, just sucked he worked then had jury duty afterwards.
meruu_2005 1
Dump or stop bitching
perdix 31
It wasn't a Valentine, it was a hint to not keep your half-eaten shit in his fridge.
thereseg69 7
That's what you get when you scrape the bottom if the barrel
Jasonf6 0
What did you give him for Valentine's Day?
Michael_92 20
Umm....A half eaten cupcake he left in her fridge. You don't hear the op saying anything about that now do you?
someone3225 2
Better than nothing
mariaealvarez 1
U deserve it! Why are u with hiiim?!
sierraluvsgaga 5
Ooo classy