Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, for Valentine’s Day, I got my boyfriend chocolates, a new Xbox game and planned lots of kinky sexy time. He ate the chocolate, orgasmed after three thrusts, had a 2-hour nap, then ignored me while playing the new game all afternoon. He didn’t get me anything, not even my own orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
thebeautybleeds 17
At least he remembered it was Valentine's day?
DocBastard 40
You would perhaps prefer that he either ate the whole thing or left it out in the sun so it would melt? Show some gratitude. All I got today was a cigarette butt and a purple nurple.
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Comments (171)
Slimshots 8
So... what did you get him for Valentine's day? Why does the man have to buy everything?
structuredchaoz 4
That is worse than nothing. He fails.
FML5499 4
Wow, cheap bf much huh?
Bluemonster3 26
At least you got something :P
livelaughcheer_2 2
it's the thought that counts?:)
flavasava73 5
Did you get him anything? How long had you Been dating?( if it was only a week then he may have thought it was a little too much too soon?) do you normally buy each other gifts? So many questions. If it was your birthday then fair enough, but we need to know more!
Magnificent_Fart 1
You're selfish. It's the thought that counts, not the chocolate and the roses. YDI.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You're given 2 week old chocolate that YOU ATE, and that means you're selfish? The boyfriend is being lazy and gave her 2 week old candy instead actually loving her like spending time with her, etc. or going the materialistic route and bought her something. There is no thought in this...
argybargy 3
Don't you mean "EX-boyfriend"?
SoultheWolf 19
I hope your gift to him was a hard slap to the face.
Mirmade1985 2
Still more than I got.