Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, for Valentine’s Day, I got my boyfriend chocolates, a new Xbox game and planned lots of kinky sexy time. He ate the chocolate, orgasmed after three thrusts, had a 2-hour nap, then ignored me while playing the new game all afternoon. He didn’t get me anything, not even my own orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
thebeautybleeds 17
At least he remembered it was Valentine's day?
DocBastard 40
You would perhaps prefer that he either ate the whole thing or left it out in the sun so it would melt? Show some gratitude. All I got today was a cigarette butt and a purple nurple.
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Comments (171)
hateevryone 15
it's the thought that counts.
titans617230 3
Should've just ate the damn chocolate bar in the first place
ourheartswerexD 6
What a lame gift.. soak the chocolate bar in nitrogen and strike him with it!
MissRoxiie 12
Its the intention that counts :) , still could have had come up with something better tho..
MothaaTruckaa13 2
Get over it. Seriously, you have a boyfriend on valentines day, sooooo shush.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I didn't know OP talked to you about her -300 word FML long enough for you to shush her. That or you're high...
Boo2boo70394 0
Why should he get you more candy if you dont eat what you already have?
fentron 3
It's the thought that counts!
Rippin91 0
Dump him!
paschale 7
YDI for putting chocolate in the fridge. The cocoa butter comes to the surface and looks white plus ruins the taste.
lovelyspyder 7
Shitty... I got a tv for the kitchen(lol), 2 cards(one sappy, one funny), 2 movies, a box of chocolates and a bag of my fav candy. Oh and Pink batteries!! Lol
lissalove17 8
...Because everybody here cares so much to know what you got as a gift.