Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
missanderson813 4
I don't get guys. They can write their name in snow perfectly but can't aim for a large hole.
Enslaved 38
Sometimes, I wish that home restrooms also came with built in urinals.):
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
holly_pop 6
At least it's not an everyday. Be thankful he's at least getting it on the toilet and not the floor.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Glue the seat in the "Up" position forever, so he won't pee on the seat anymore.
Vert90 11
Cuz you know, that'll enable her to take a shit without any piss... And without a seat.... I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
xGoldenEvox 2
That's never going to change. Lol.
wdd2 5
Go with the saw approach, if it works on movie drug addicts its gotta work on aiming.
janerose21 3
hold and aim now that wasn't too hard! !
cave72 3
I still can't believe that women complain about men peeing on the toilet seat or when we leave the lid up. Women leave it down and expect us to lift it and put it down every time. I know its a small thing but women are the ones that complain about it. What happened to equality?
wpolo02 7
You should have left the seat up.
krez 20
Shoulda put that one in the pre-nup... there is no way you can win now! The only option left is to get a divorce and find a guy who is not an inconsiderate slob.
pigbilly 0
I piss all over a toilet seat when I hear someone get pissy about that.. And women you stand up and piss!! Our penis isn't always the same ******* size! Does your ****** shapeshift every time you piss?!?!?!?
bleedingglitter 24
Well seeing as women don't pee out of their vaginas....
pigbilly 0
I want no women to talk shit unless they have peed with their own penis