Kids: Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly...

By shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 557

You deserved it 2 775

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By shway - 15/07/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 496

You deserved it 7 249

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 929

You deserved it 7 080

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 038

You deserved it 6 129

By whoopsiedoodle - 21/05/2009 12:45 - Canada

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 628

You deserved it 64 432

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 504

You deserved it 461

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 352

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 029

You deserved it 2 965

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 6 048

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 787

You deserved it 2 548

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 161

You deserved it 7 673

MegasaurusRex89 28

Friday 9 October 2015 18:25

You'll find this hilarious one day... That day is not today.

unsun 13

Friday 9 October 2015 18:28

Should have accepted it with pride

Comments

MegasaurusRex89 28

Friday 9 October 2015 18:25

You'll find this hilarious one day... That day is not today.

jake_braves 25

Saturday 10 October 2015 7:52

True, and OP you're married to her, you and her can basically do whatever you want. One day this will be laughable.

unsun 13

Friday 9 October 2015 18:28

Should have accepted it with pride

MagnusDeus 24

Friday 9 October 2015 19:14

*clears throat* "Yeah. I do tickle mommy's bum bum. So what?"

tantanpanda 26

Friday 9 October 2015 20:48

They all glare, but they know they do friskier things.

Big_Bear99 19

Friday 9 October 2015 21:11

Most definitely. How else would you have a daughter!

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Monday 12 October 2015 7:22

What #31 said. How can people give dirty looks when it's obvious they must have some sexual activity if they have a daughter? Kids don't come from storks, which might shock some of them.