Kids: Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly...

By shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 584

You deserved it 2 787

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Same thing different taste

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 963

You deserved it 7 106

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 181

You deserved it 3 837

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 989

You deserved it 7 452

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 2 973

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 877

You deserved it 17 022

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 239

You deserved it 363

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 082

You deserved it 6 171

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 6 726

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 4 994

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 6 063

MegasaurusRex89 28

Friday 9 October 2015 18:25

You'll find this hilarious one day... That day is not today.

unsun 13

Friday 9 October 2015 18:28

Should have accepted it with pride

Comments

aprilnb1 18

Friday 9 October 2015 18:58

Wait you're married and you have sex? You should be ashamed of yourself. Honestly, they're probably jealous because their BUM BUM isn't being tickled. Keep ya "head" up OP.

Stillalex_fml 7

Friday 9 October 2015 19:03

next time make sure she couldn't see

born_hustla 26

Friday 9 October 2015 19:07

That family lacks a sense of humor.

mneill 6

Friday 9 October 2015 19:09

"Daddy tickles Mommy's bum bum" Well, how exactly do they think you got to be Daddy and Mommy?

writerchic85 25

Friday 9 October 2015 19:31

Your wife's family are prudes. Obviously they know you have sex with her because you have a child. And children say inappropriate things which is normal. I'd be more concerned if she blurted that you smack her around or something. Tell them to lighten up.

The_Basileus 9

Friday 9 October 2015 19:33

They should have just laughed. I would have.

carolinew 10

Friday 9 October 2015 19:35

What? Does your wife's family not expect you to be having sexual relations with her? How do they think your daughter got there?

SK8WITME 19

Friday 9 October 2015 19:40

I bet all those people who stared at you also tickle their partners bum bum but yeah, no one wants to miss an opportunity to embarrass someone.

juicy_extasy 25

Friday 9 October 2015 19:59

Age of innocence!

snarkytruth 37

Friday 9 October 2015 20:01

That's what kids excel at doing. It's also why there is a whole category just for children here in the FML universe. In time this will be a cherished memory for the whole family. Well maybe not for the father in law ha ha.