Kids: Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly...

By shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 2 775

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Same thing different taste

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 934

You deserved it 7 085

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 3 831

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 429

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 039

You deserved it 2 967

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 353

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 465

You deserved it 6 718

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 867

You deserved it 4 976

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 492

You deserved it 6 051

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 76 820

MegasaurusRex89 28

Friday 9 October 2015 18:25

You'll find this hilarious one day... That day is not today.

unsun 13

Friday 9 October 2015 18:28

Should have accepted it with pride

Comments

thatsme293 28

Saturday 10 October 2015 17:55

Like your father in law hasn't touched his wife's ass. Seriously, growing up is a thing that happens to children.

exoticwaved 9

Saturday 10 October 2015 17:59

Hmmm. I wonder what else the daughter has seen or heard.

ouijacorn 9

Saturday 10 October 2015 20:47

If the family of the woman to whom you are married and with whom you have a child are surprised that you've grabbed/pinched/tickled your own wife's ass, maybe you're not the one with a problem.

ThreeSheets 14

Wednesday 28 October 2015 23:35

#54 is right- patting your wife on the butt when she bends over or is setting the table and she giggles may have been what she saw. Nothing sexual. Kids don't know- they have seen worse on TV.

ThatLoneIyGuy 8

Sunday 11 October 2015 5:56

Should have did a Neil Patrick Harris

Kendrah18 19

Sunday 11 October 2015 6:59

I'm just concerned with the fact that the child knows this information? :/

bilbo_watson 7

Sunday 11 October 2015 21:34

When it comes from a child, it sounds a lot more dramatic. He could've pinched his wife's ass in the kitchen when the kid was out of the room, and the kid might've caught a glance from the hallway or the living room. Any other number of things of that nature could have happened. I'm sure that parents don't do that in front of their children until they're mature enough to understand that it's a playful expression of appreciation and love. Teenagers might think it's gross or avert their eyes, but it's also what they use as a basis for what happens in a loving relationship later on.